Love is a very confusing human emotion. It has a very different meaning for each individual. You can experience it in a completely different way from the other person.
The definition that sums up to ‘love’ is formed by the repetitive actions in the common behavior pattern that people tend to display when they get butterflies in their stomach.
Love is not an emotion we have much control over. Many people therefore tend to struggle when they are going through this emotion. It has a range of highs and lows that people feel in different stages throughout this phase. You get the craving feeling along with the feeling of achievement.
There is a common feeling of addiction to the person you fall in love with. You can never seem to get enough of their love and presence. It is like being addicted to drugs; it even releases the same chemicals to your brain that triggers the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, which are common pleasure chemicals right into your brain. All this combined gives an individual an overwhelming feeling of a sort of addiction.
When we are in love, we seek admiration and validation from the other person in the little things we do. We also tend to get aroused by the little things they do.
Once we get a taste of attention from the other individual, our brain starts craving for more and eventually we want their undivided attention and love. This also causes reactions such as possessiveness, which may cause the lover to have an overly protective nature. This causes attachment which makes distance and breakups a difficult things to deal with.
Not only this, love also causes obsession with the other person. Throughout the day you tend to think about them, what they would be up to at this hour, whether they had lunch or not and if they are thinking about you the same. And be careful, you will probably be very reckless when you are in love because the brains mechanism for reasoning and logical thinking drops to bare minimum levels.
We naturally refuse any threats that there might otherwise be to give ourselves the picture perfect impression of the relationship. So the outcome is often us looking out of a prefabricated window with a view to the perfect fantasy land where there is nothing but happiness.
But this is where the danger lies because, in the real world, nothing is perfect and we are prone to hurt and mishaps.
Another common trait of being in love is being defensive about the other person. For example, when our friend finds out a negative point about the person, we try to overcome or eradicate it because we want a picture perfect impression of that person.
Many people often confuse love and lust. They both have the ability to coexist for the same person, but there are cases when you lust for a person but love another. This can lead to emotional stress and may put a strain on your relationship.
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Also, men and women differ in behavior when they are in love. Men look out for visual cues whereas women rely purely on their feelings to develop a strong emotional bond. Women also tend to memorize more details related to a relationship than men, such as the anniversary date etc.
When you stare into your lover’s eyes and feel ‘lost’, your brain is actually taking in a lot of input to try and decode it and it doesn’t know what to do with so much information. So that eye contact and its power is no myth, it is all biology!
How you look at love is not by a magical lens but rather your brain is trying to present the overwhelming situation to you in a way suited to the way you can relate it, such as with a movie. This is why many people grow up having a fixed idea of love, a person bringing you flowers, taking you out on a date – these all are fixed notions of a romantic involvement set by the society.
These are thoroughly norms being categorized as acts of a lover. So to conclude, your brain is the single most powerful element that controls your experience of a romantic encounter, it is not the heart!