Raising kids can turn out to be a really difficult thing. While in olden times, parenting was supposed to come naturally, nowadays, we are realizing how difficult parenting actually is.
The difficulties of parenting increases when you are one of the few affluent families. Sounds unnatural? Well, when you have a lavish lifestyle, you try to cater to whatever demands your kids have so that they don’t get dissatisfied. You try to make them happy. But in the process, you are also spoiling them.
“In my practice, I often see affluent families struggling with wanting to raise unspoiled children who are grateful despite being wealthy, going on lavish vacations, having beautiful homes, and owning the latest gadgets, toys, and luxury cars.
They ask me if it is really possible and my answer is: “Yes, but you are going to have to work hard at it.” I call it intentional parenting and it takes discipline to pull it off.” – says Dr. Sheryl Ziegler on Your Tango, a Psychologist and former Clinical Director of a Residential Treatment Facility for Children.
This has become an issue with many affluent families. They are now seeking help so that they don’t spoil their children. Well, these are some of the ways in which you can improve your parenting and make your children complete angels on earth:
1. Deny Their Wants Regularly
The problem with affluent parents is that since they can afford many things, they will give in to any demand of their children. They don’t want to see them unhappy. But even if you can afford things easily, you should try to say ‘No’ at times. This will help in delaying the instant gratification of your children.
2. Make Them Grateful
Just telling children to say ‘Thank you’ is not enough. You have to develop the feeling of gratefulness in them. Teach them more about gestures, proper eye-contact, a good handshake, and appreciation – all little things have meaning. If you see that your child accepts a gift without being grateful, then tell them to return it and explain why they do not deserve that gift at the moment.
3. Be Altruistic
Children imitate their parents – they learn a lot from them. So, try to engage in altruism. Start by donating clothes or going for charity shows. Take your children with you and let them become a part of the process. It will help them learn and grow kinder.
4. Company Is Important
Make sure that you are spending time with the right kind of company. If you are always meeting and spending your time with rich families, then your children will not be able to see the outside world. Try to mix with people from all backgrounds but sharing the same values – that will expose your child to different aspects of the world.
5. Develop The Habit of Making Cards
Today, children have a really short attention span. They get distracted very easily. So, if you engage them in activities like handwritten paper cards, you can bring their focus back to these activities. That will also teach them the value of thoughtfulness and caregiving.
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6. Don’t Be Overprotective
However lavish a life you might lead, life will be unfair. And so, you should not protect your children from this harsh reality of life. Don’t be too protective of them. Tell them your own stories of how life has been unfair with you. If you feel like your child is suffering from some normal life-based problems, help them, but do not try to step in and protect them. It won’t help them grow.
7. Don’t buy too many things
You can afford many things but that does not mean you have to buy them. When you buy a lot of things together, your child feels entitled and that is the first kind of spoiling that can take place. Buy one thing at a time and place longer gaps between two purchases. Let your child appreciate one thing for some time.
8. Talking With Their Grandparents
Grandparents love their grandchildren and they are one of those innocent culprits who spoil them too. So, you have to talk to them and make it clear to them that you are trying not to spoil your children. Tell them that you need their help so that they don’t end up secretly buying things for your children and in the end, spoiling them behind your back.
9. Make Them Realize How Valuable Money Is
We don’t understand the value of money unless we work and start earning it. So, telling your children about the value of money won’t help. Rather, make them manage their own savings and lay down some kind of kid’s wealth management foundation. Curb their influx of money by letting them survive on minimum funds. Let them manage their wealth and soon they will know the value of money.
10. Tell Your Own Story
You know that your wealth has not come down to you that easily. Or if you have inherited it, your ancestor struggled to get it. Tell them the legacy of the wealth – make them understand the sweat and blood that must have gone behind the accumulation of such wealth. They will soon realize the value of such hard-earned money.
Finally, if your child nags and demands a lot like a spoiled kid, then make sure you don’t fall for it. Keep yourself under control when you are into parenting.
Be a good, but a very strict parent. Then, you will have an good child growing in your house.
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