Do you fall in love easily? Does a bit of charm, a sense of humor and well-kept appearance sets your heart fluttering? Relationships can happen easily if some of these qualities come together in a partner. But is it enough for a relationship to last?
Relationships are tough. They are a lot of work and it doesn’t get any easier. It is supposed to be a perfect thing with all the perfect ingredients in the mix but it is rarely so. What we can do is deal with the problems the best way we can. And what is the best way?
Relationship experts will always put emphasis on COMMUNICATION. Open communication always helps. Or so we thought. Recent findings are going to shock you!
Communication isn’t enough
The University of Georgia has arrived at astonishing results after a recent study that says communication alone can’t make a relationship last. Actually, good communication can only happen between well-matched partners when all the right factors have come into place.
The lead author, Justin Lavner, said that the more satisfied a couple is, the better will be the communication. And it checks out. There are many couples who are terrible at communication. They have to go through volumes of books, many sessions of couple therapy and yet they can’t express themselves to one another. That spark in communication is just not there. Even if it does happen, it feels out-of-place and forced. It’s time to change the script.
Communication can actually be a result of a great relationship that has already been formed. It’s much easier to communicate with someone whom you are comfortable to start with, have great chemistry, and connect on many levels. It’s not something that’s going to jumpstart a failing relationship.
The mystery of relationships remains
If one of the foundations of a relationship is turned down, what can make relationships successful? This study has really unsettled one of the key relationship advice. Perhaps we should go back to that famous adage: “if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be”. However much you talk or connect with each other, seemingly perfect relationships fall apart. Even after going through extensive couple therapies, reading thousands of books, many relationships just wither away. Somethings cannot be rescued.
On the other hand, there are couples who don’t seem to spend much time together, but they stay strong enough, get married and have cute little children. What could be their secret? All the studies are failing to find it out. Relationships are a mystery where couples put in their personal magic to either make it work or break it apart – there’s no fixed script to it.
Becoming radically transparent
However, one thing is clear: successful couples have something deeper in them – a connection of souls or wavelength, whatever you call it. It simply happens if you are lucky enough. Problem is, you can’t force this connection. It has to come naturally.
However, you can control one thing – being transparent. Come out with who you are and hide nothing from your partner. If you really want to connect with someone mentally, physically, and spiritually, you cannot hold back. They must know you inside-out as much as you are going to know them – there’s no middle ground here.
Don’t trust those negative thoughts that make you keep secrets cooped up in your heart. Radical transparency will make sure that you are well-secured. If your partner fails to deal with your secrets, you know what is wrong with the relationship. If not, then consider yourself lucky – you have someone with whom you can share anything without fear.
It’s not only communication
If you feel like this is just another term for communication, you cannot be more wrong. This is completely different. Communication comes as a choice – you consciously choose to select, trim and convey what you want to.
Radical transparency is different – it’s opening yourself up completely to your partner and sharing yourself with their reality as well. It’s a perfect union. But trust me, it’s going to be difficult. Being radically transparent is a painful experience – you have to uncover your darkest selves and place it out on the table. I don’t deny it’ll hurt. It’ll scare the wits out of you. But once you connect – it’s totally worth it.
Change is inevitable. Let’s bring about a change in our perspectives and stop relying on just communication like we were told. Become radically transparent with your partner and start building a well-fortified relationship. Let’s make this work out.
The Secret To A Successful Relationship by Seeker:
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