A terrible series of events included a dad who, in spite of his son’s cries for mercy, kept pushing him out into the harsh world. A few years later, the estranged father unexpectedly turned up at his child’s home, all mystery and expectation. This is what happened next…
A person who identified as Asian posted a story on Reddit’s hugely popular AITA topic in 2019. The man related how his father treated him as a child, often kicking him out of the house, in his account of his upbringing.
Due to their financial difficulties, the family was forced to live in a shoddy townhouse in a bad area of town. The narrator’s father adhered to the prevalent stereotype of Asian fathers by being extremely demanding with his students’ academic achievement.
His father’s answer was always the same when the original poster got a grade lower than 70, missed curfew, or was late for class: he would be kicked out of the house. No matter how hard he tried or how much rain or snow fell, he would always end up outside with nothing more than a sleeping bag.
He asked the Reddit community for their input, wondering if his thoughts were legitimate or illogical.
This cycle persisted until the narrator was sixteen years old, at which point a friend showed him the courtesy of letting him stay the night. After being banished from the house each time, he would finally come back, make amends, and be allowed to return.
Regarding his father, OP stated, “[My father] kicked me out at 18 and I didn’t come back home.” Rather, he chose to live with a friend and worked steadily to pay for his schooling. He did not speak to his father again after that day. At the age of 29, he at last experienced marital happiness and the impending birth of a kid.
When his father showed up on his doorstep years later, what action did the man take?
At the time, the original poster’s mother passed away, a tragic incident that resulted in a number of unexpected meetings. His father arrived, carrying the burden of old grudges, amid the mood of lamentation and introspection. It seemed to be an attempt at making up for the difficult upbringing that had characterized the person’s early years.
Though OP’s dad had experienced his fair share of adversity, a persistent suspicion persisted despite the early impressions of sincerity. The problem was complicated by the fact that his convenience shop had closed seven years earlier and his pension was deteriorating.
The Redditor took the initiative to inquire about his father’s reasons for visiting in a situation that called for candor and clarity. His father revealed his intentions in a desperate tone—he was looking for a place to remain.
The man withdrew into the house for a little while, as if he was carrying about a lot of mixed emotions from the past and present. When he came back, a sleeping bag was hurled carelessly onto the grass, a gesture that represented his father’s deeds and carried with it the memory of earlier rejections.
A crucial aspect of the story was unintentionally left out of the first telling. The father had tried to patch things up over the years with occasional mail-order donations. These small amounts, which added up to about $1500, were still hidden in the man’s closet, which he planned to return to at his mother’s memorial service.
What Do His Friends and Wife Think About His Act?
The man’s wife and friends responded to his choice after the death of the man’s mother. Despite his father’s strictness, his wife urged him to let go, pointing out that he had always given him back and behaved out of love and a desire for his improvement.
However, his friends—who were from a similar background—downplayed how harsh his father had previously punished him, implying that his father had good intentions and referring to him as a “disrespectful son.”
Lost in thought, the man was experiencing a range of contradictory feelings. He asked the Reddit community for their input, wondering if his thoughts were legitimate or illogical.
The man’s position (NTA) was widely endorsed by Redditors, who saw his father’s actions as emotionally abusive because of his childhood history of expulsions.
The father’s latest apologies, which coincided with his need for shelter, was questioned by several users as to its genuineness. They underlined the absence of previous communication and support, implying that, considering the past, forgiveness wasn’t justified.
The idea that the person was right to be cautious was echoed by other commenters. They thought his father’s apologies had hidden agendas, maybe looking for more than just genuine reconciliation but rather for tactical assistance.
People expressed worries that the man’s marriage might suffer if his father continued to live with him. They advised him to put his family’s welfare first and exercise caution while restarting a tense relationship.
Do you believe that the way the OP treated his father was appropriate?
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