Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it when it’s broken but the cracks will still remain. The basic foundation of a relationship is trust. It is like the anchor which keeps you together even during storms. Obviously there are other factors, like understanding that nurture the trust, but you can’t carry on a relationship for too long without it.
Suppose you meet someone and have a spectacular time with them. You both like the same movies, have an amazing conversation about things you care about and even your priorities are on point, but somehow you can’t blindly trust them. Yes, sometimes you’ve got to take the leap of faith, but chances are that, if you don’t trust your partner, they haven’t earned it. You can’t live in constant fear of being abandoned, cheated on or lied to because it’ll make you paranoid.
It’s true that trust isn’t built in a day. It takes effort on both the sides to build a solid foundation of trust. You need to be vulnerably honest, loyal and understanding to make your partner trust you. Everyone has certain deep seated insecurities or past baggage, but as a partner you must acknowledge it and not prick the wounded place. You have to see how difficult it is for someone who has already been through a lot of betrayals to shed inhibitions and trust you.
Trust is not something you can bestow upon everyone, it is precious. You need to see if a person is at all worth it. Saying something and actually putting in effort to translate it into action are two different things.
Suppose a person gains your trust initially but takes it for granted. You trust them say with an important mail and ask them to drop it but they fail, or say you trust them to fill up a form for you but they conveniently forget about it, or maybe they lie to you about a petty thing and you find out… trust is indeed a fragile thing and most definitely should be handled with care.
Here are a few things you ought to notice before you put your trust in them. Being trustworthy comes with maturity, but it is also an intrinsic part of someone’s character. These signs will help you see if there are red flags:
We all need personal space and healthy boundaries no doubt, but there is a fine line between that and being disloyal. Mobile phones can become the devil’s gift for a frivolous man. Now you mustn’t be spying on someone by keeping a track of their messages and calls, that just means you can’t trust them and are most definitely being petty.
Suppose your phone is dead and you ask for your partner’s phone to make a call and can see beads of sweat breaking on their forehead and they just want their phone back at any cost, then it’s a matter of grave concern. If your partner isn’t around and you answer their phone for them, it isn’t wrong – if you see him being defensive and threatening you not to touch his phone, sense that something ain’t right.
Absolute transparency is a must. It’s okay if he goes to the corner to take an important call, but notice if he’s never taking calls in front of you. See if he’d rather miss a call repeatedly, than take it when you’re not there with him, he’s trying desperately to hide something. Be cautious but don’t be too stuck up. Have a proper conversation.
I’m not suggesting you’re his trophy and he should flaunt you, but he should introduce you to his family and friends if he is into you. If he does so, it shows that he loves being around you and feels lucky to have you in his life.
Social media is a place where most of the young generation builds their image. If your boyfriend is active on social media and ignores your tags, comments and posts, there’s something fishy. If his feed is free of your pictures or there’s not even a passing mention of you, then he’s trying to show the world that he is single. This is obviously a little concerning and you should definitely look into the matter.
Related article: 9 Things You Should Look For In A Genuine And Trustworthy Partner
No, I’m not saying he can’t have a single girl in his friend list or abandon all his female friends and become obsessed with you. All I’m implying is there’s a difference in being friendly and flirting at every given chance. A committed man won’t ever try to capture the attention of another woman because he’s content with what he has – you.
Mistakes can happen and are natural. What is important is accepting the fault, giving it a good thought, apologizing and making up for it. If your boyfriend does something wrong and then tries to turn the situation and blame you indirectly, he’s not “the one”. You need to be accountable to your partner because they expect the least amount of effort. If your man is trustworthy, he’ll have nothing to hide. It’s important being an open book in a relationship if you want a meaningful bond.