Life as you know it will never be the same again after a narcissist comes in. They’re disturbingly skilled at turning everything upside down till you’re not even sure who you are anymore. Narcissists are experts at gaslighting so, if you ever try to get back at them, they’ll only make things worse for you.
A confrontation with a narcissist is only going to add fuel to the fire. When it’s over, you’ll be left looking for the pieces of your mind.
Keep reading to learn how to figure out if a narcissist is manipulating and gaslighting you.
1. You thought they were wrong but now you aren’t sure if you know anything at all
A typical side effect of gaslighting, when you try to call out the narcissist, they’ll blow so many holes into your argument before you even begin that you’ll start doubting yourself. In the end, you’ll be so confused and muddled that you’ll start wondering who you actually are. Nothing will seem certain anymore.
2. You didn’t actually get to discuss whatever it was that you wanted to
Just when you prepare yourself to confront your narcissist, they’ll either avoid the topic in general or do something to make you blame yourself for everything. Beating around the bush, digging up old skeletons, and other tactics to keep you away from the truth are right up their alley.
3. You start out wanting to talk about something and end up talking about something completely different
There’s a story that you remember in your mind but when you bring it up with the narcissist, their version will completely contradict yours. Everything you thought was on your side will be turned completely against you. It’s like you both lived different versions of the same reality.
4. You’re always at fault
No matter how well you argue, you’ll always come out looking like you’re the one to blame. A narcissist will never be able to accept that they did something wrong and just the fact that you brought up the topic will automatically make you a bad person.
5. You experience a lot of déjà vu
You’ll start every confrontation with a narcissist hoping that things will turn out better this time. But no matter how many different ways you try to put forward your case, you’ll always end up in the same place over and over again.
6. You start believing that they’re not at fault and it is just you being insane
Narcissism’s biggest gift is that the narcissist is excellent at changing things to suit their interests. Twisting and turning stories to make you believe that you’re mad is only their own craziness coming out into the open. By the time they’re done, you’ll actually start thinking that they make sense and there’s something wrong with you.
7. You’ll only get raged at if you ask questions
If you start to question a narcissist’s behaviour, you’ll be at the receiving end of their rage. Usually, you’ll know enough to keep things to yourself in order to not be punished but the moment your control slips, their full wrath will descend upon you.
8. You are called all sorts of names
Narcissists will throw every single slur and insult at you if it means you’ll stop talking. It’s just one other way of gaslighting you.
9. You’ll have to deal with them and the rest of the world
Name dropping is the least of it. They’ll even go out of their way to ask others what they think of your behavior. A narcissist will always have enough ‘yes men’ to back them up. When they can’t convince you that you’re mad by themselves, they’ll call for backup.
10. You’re the one who’ll say sorry
Even if they do something horrible to you, you’ll never get them to accept it. You’ll get tired and just apologize to get the whole thing over with. They’ll let you exhaust your weapons and then move in for the kill.
11. You don’t think you’re worthy of them
A narcissist’s ego is always larger than life and is, of course, much larger than you. You’re just another source for bolstering their ego and they’ll do it by making you think you’re smaller than you are. If it seems like you might be building up some self confidence, they’ll tear you right back down so that you don’t think you’re good enough for them… or anyone.
12. You feel like you have no one else
The most powerful weapon in a narcissist’s arsenal is fear. You’ll be at their bidding because they’ll make you think that there’s no one else out there who cares about you.
If you recognize the signs, do not ever let yourself be gaslighted further. Walk out today and beat the narcissist in your life at his own game, for they prey on our worst fears and are defeated by our hope, courage and self-love!