Breakups are indeed hard. They are painful and bring you a lot of unhappiness. While there are things in a breakup you can’t really deal with, there are things you can do to make yourself feel better.
Avoiding these 23 things will help you deal with the suffering of the split:
1. You have to remember the practical things. They might have your passwords, keys to your home or your other belongings. You need to figure out a way to recover all of your possessions that they might have.
2. Punishing your ex won’t do you any good. If you think you can hurt your ex for hurting you, you have another heartbreak coming your way. Just don’t try punishing them.
3. Shake any thoughts of getting back together for like, several weeks. An expert, Toni Coleman, said, “When folks bounce back and forth, in and out of relationships, it is usually a sign that they don’t want to be in the relationship but have wrong reasons for remaining. For instance, they might have a fear of being alone or fear of loneliness.”
4. Embrace your feelings and don’t justify them. Whatever you are feeling is valid. You ought not to explain yourself to anyone or even yourself.
5. Do you two have mutual friends? They should be least of your concerns. Experts on the matter say if these friends side with your ex, they weren’t true to you in the first place.
6. Avoid texting or calling your ex. If you text or call them, it will seem like you aren’t sure about the breakup and are willing to try again.
7. Avoid leading them on. When you break up, be very clear about it. You don’t have to use leading phrases like “I just need some time” and sort. Give it to them straight!
8. Don’t straightaway jump into another long-term relationship. Another expert, Tanisha Ranger, says, “The time after the breakup is a magical one. You are able to take your own inventory, realize where you were wrong, and figure out how you intend to do things differently in order to have a different outcome in the future.”
9. Oh, stalking them on social media is a no-go zone, so avoid it! You really need to do the contrary and cut them out of your social media circle.
10. If you two have mutual friends, you ought not to ask them about your ex. Your ex’s life shouldn’t bother you and you should focus on your own life anyway.
11. Have they gotten a new love interest? Good for them. You don’t have to bother yourself with them. More importantly, you don’t compare yourself with them. It will only make you feel worse and do nothing to them.
12. Don’t wallow. A professional, Wendy Newman, says you should cry and eat ice cream but no more than FOUR DAYS. Four days are all you get.
13. Look after yourself. It is one of the healthiest practice after a breakup. You cook for yourself, work out or do anything which makes you happy.
14. Allow yourself to feel. Trying not to feel is no way out. There is no shortcut to the healing process. You should embrace the feelings and look up to your family and friends for support and comfort.
15. Don’t try going back to being friends immediately. Before you two become friends again, Newman says you two need to be fully apart and move past the pain.
16. Your love life and work are separate. Don’t let your breakup mingle with your work and, if you feel like it will affect your work life, talk to a supervisor about it.
17. Do not avoid your social life. Your friends can be a huge support in helping you deal with the breakup and move on.
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18. Have you two broken up? No more hooking up! Getting physical will only make things worse, making it hard for both of you to get over the split.
19. Don’t cling to their stuff. If they have left, so should their belongings. If you hang to their stuff, it will only slow down the healing process.
20. Stop visiting “the spot”. You don’t have to go back to the place you two shared your first kiss or any other place where you frequently visited and shared some moments of love.
21. Did you two share a special song? Remove it from your playlist and stop listening to it overall. You don’t have to dwell in the relationship you just ended.
22. Shove the idea of getting a tattoo. You have already been hit by a major change in your life. You will want to dodge the idea of getting permanent ink on yourself.
23. Don’t read their old texts or listen to their messages. They are a mere reminder of the fact that you two are no longer together. You don’t need any more pain than you are already suffering.
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