All of us have met somebody who chooses their own company over the rest.
Introverts generally don’t keep a large group of friends, and maintain a low profile. A psychologist at Wellesley College said that it is because they do not socially conform to the need of inclusiveness. It isn’t important for them to feel ‘included’.
Jonathan Cheek says that this situation could arise from 2 possible causes:
1) They take an independent decision to be a lone wolf, or
2) They become loners because people reject them.
A third type could even have inherited this way of being.
Cheek further explains that this could also arise from a friendless childhood or some traumatic experiences.
There are degrees of introversion, and similarly, degrees of lonesomeness.
John Cacioppa from the University of Chicago says loneliness stresses you out. It is unhealthy to continue this practice.
Cross-check with these 10+ typical traits to discover loners around you:
1. Value Time
These people are hardly ever late to a planned meeting. It irks them greatly if other people are not punctual. They have massive respect for the time of other people and expect the same treatment to be meted out to them.
They believe that small-talk and pretentiousness is an absolute waste of time and therefore do not indulge in either. They keep to themselves and communicate only when necessary.
When you spend too much time with yourself, you cannot be an escapist. Loners don’t shy away from their emotional responses or from things going on in their minds. In perceiving their own selves better, they understand the world at large. They’re even able to handle depression much more efficiently, because they know the way around their mind.
They’re the mirror embodiment of ‘zen’ during apocalyptic situations. It is extremely difficult to anger them. Their dissociation from the humdrum of the world and frequent introspection has left them better equipped to deal with all possible circumstances.
When they are negatively affected by workload or stress, they crave some alone-time to heal.
Even though they are reclusive, they are not detached. They are very perceptive to innovations and love partaking in things that challenge them. Be it a video game, puzzle, or an actual outdoor expedition, you can always count on them to be enthusiastic about it.
This goes hand in hand with their ‘no drama’ policy. They do not keep too many friends and have mostly zero acquaintances. However, if they do let you into their circle, they will fight tooth and nail to protect you. They trust you with their lives, and will do anything to keep you safe.
6. Clear Boundaries
Their walls are distinct. They know their zones of comfort, anger, happiness, and bad memories. They always respect your private space, because they know the value of it, and will not trespass. You are expected to return the same treatment to them. When you are stepping on a boundary, they will push you off the line.
7. Aware Of Their Weaknesses/Strength
Since they understand themselves perfectly, they are highly aware of their strong and weak points. They constantly work to hone their qualities. However, their weakness is never a source of shame to them. They’re proud of who they are.
8. Very Empathetic
The difference between empathy and sympathy is that, in the former, there is no pity. You are able to put yourself in their shoes, and feel them.
Loners can be the kindest people you meet. Being more perceptive to human emotions, they feel everyone’s despair. However, they’re also the first people to see the silver lining in the darkest of clouds.
9. No One Is Perfect
Loners know that they are far from the embodiment of all godly virtues, and they’re okay with that. They would not trade their skin for any others, and that is really commendable. Being happy with yourself is very difficult to achieve, and these people seem to ace the game. The best quality of their self-love is their honesty about their own selves.
10. Guided By Intuition
Their sixth sense is on point. It never leads you astray. The voice at the back of your head, and the rumblings in your stomach when you’re about to make an important decision, never fail you. They will lead you in the correct direction, always.
11. Never Codependent
Loners value their independence at all costs. They will not let go of it for anything- not even for love, or family. They hate being told what to do, and make their own rules as they go.
If somebody tries telling them how to live their lives, they consider it trespassing, and will immediately cut them out.
12. Filled With Kindness And Compassion
Like I’ve said before, they’re extremely warm when it comes to humans they feel for. It is mostly because they know how it feels to be marginalized and not deemed worthy of love or friendship. So, they will never pass on the same kind of hate to another person.
13. Extremely Courageous
You embody willpower and strength. Everybody around you may be jealous of it, and rightfully so. You’re the superhero nobody thought could exist in reality. You have some very correct principles and set a brilliant example for youngsters and even your peers. You take all situations head on, and shy away from nothing.
You are your own best friend. Honestly, you top your priority list, and it should stay that way. There is nothing more important in this world than the ability to support your own self, and you do that brilliantly. You accept yourself with all your sunshine and your flaws, and honestly, it’s beautiful.
If somebody let’s you in on a secret, it doesn’t go out. If somebody trusts you to get a job done, they know you will complete it by hook or by ‘crook’. You hate failing deadlines and always stick to the promises you have made. You value your commitments like gold.
16. Emotional Strength
Since they have had to fight most battles alone, they have developed an very strong emotional reserve. It is extremely commendable, and it’s strong enough to support even their partner. Emotional tenacity is such an alluring quality to have.
17. Moral Compass
They have their principles and perspectives in order. Their judgement is never confused. There is a rule book they strictly adhere to, and absolutely nothing under the sun can throw them off. All these years of training themselves, their principles have almost become regimental.
Originally inspired by Higher Perspectives
Image was originally taken by Maja Topčagić