The task of parenting is not an easy one. You don’t need a self-help bestseller, or an amateur content writer to tell you that. Being a parent is glorious, and it makes you incredibly happy. But it is far from the easiest thing to do. You are creating another human being from scratch. The responsibility that comes with that is huge. It’s spine-breaking, sometimes.
It is imperative that we inculcate the right values in our children.
Here are 14 things you should never tell when talking to your children:
1. “You’re Too Overweight!”
Body issues develop from our childhood. Obesity is a real problem, but do not make it sound like ugliness. The issue is health-related. Make sure that they understand it is not about their image. If you deliver this statement in wrongly, they will be stuck for the rest of their lives, with their fingers up their throat, vomiting out everything they eat.
2. “Fear Is For The Weak”
No. It is not. Feeling emotions makes you human. Don’t make your children feel small for having natural reactions. Young ones get scared easily because of the innocence they retain. As adults, we are more used to a disillusioned world-view. Let them have fun.
3. “You Will Not Be Forgiven”
You cannot punish a child with such a heavy sense of remorse. Human beings make mistakes. Children, even more so! If they were born with all the knowledge of their previous lives, they would not be tripping glasses of milk on the floor. You have got to learn to be patient.
4. “Look At All I’ve Given You”
Don’t make it sound like a favor. Parents keep imposing negative gratitude on their offspring and still wonder why they rebel. Constantly making your child aware of his/her privilege makes them feel like a burden. That is the worst possible notion they can harbor of themselves.
5. “Don’t Worry, Everything Will Be OK”
I know this sentence seems harmless on the surface. But this approach belittles their anxiety or sadness. You are actually telling them that the issue they are worried about is inconsequential. Instead, discuss it with them, find potential solutions. That is a much more mature approach to obstacles.
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6. “Don’t Cry Like A Baby”
Do not block your child’s emotional response. They will grow up to view any expression of feelings as a weakness. Crying is an outlet for pent up emotions. If you don’t want your offspring to develop anger management issues, or grow up to be emotionally stunted, then do not impose inhuman rules on them.
7. “Let It Be, I’ll Finish It”
Let your offspring do their own work. They might be making gross errors. But they will learn on their own. If you keep spoon-feeding their life to them, they will grow up as incompetent. Let them build their own experiences.
8. “You Have No Value”
Be very careful about what ideas you introduce to your children. You may have said it in a fit of rage, or a slip of tongue. But it carries a long-lasting impact with it. Never make your child feel like they mean nothing to you. You are all they have got.
9. “If You Finish Your Food, I’ll Grant Permission For Dessert”
Don’t bribe your child. I know it is an easier way than having to nag them through a meal. But they will gradually stop doing anything that does not have a reward attached to it. They should want to eat the food because it’s “healthy”, not because it is a ticket to dessert.
10. “Get Out Of My Way”
Kids always hop into our field of work. It is natural instinct. They generally try to discover what work you do, or try to assist you in your job. Needless to say, it turns quite messy. However, instead of rudely pushing them away, be kind. They are there because they love you.
11. “You Have Let Me Down”
This is the last thing a child would want to hear from his/her parents. It belittles and destroys everything they have ever done or been in all their waking life. Failures are a part of life. Your child is human. Treat them like you wish you were.
12. “Don’t Question Me, Do As I Say”
Why not? If you don’t teach children the reasoning of your behavior, how are they going to learn? This is one of the differences between a dictator and a parent. In trying to cook up logic behind your actions, you will learn to rationalize your own behavior too.
13. “You Will Never Make It”
Some parents mask such discouraging talk, under the garb of a “reality check”. Don’t ground their dreams to dust. It is not yours to destroy. Let your child dream to doing what they want to. God knows, all the greatest artists wouldn’t be here if they did not believe in themselves.
14. “You Are Not A Good Child”
This is literally the last nail in the coffin. If you say this to your child, you destroy everything you both have ever shared. It makes them feel like they do not belong in this world, or in their own home. Choose your words carefully. It may contribute to your offspring’s emotional damage.