According to Psychology Today, “The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding.”
Falling in love with narcissists is natural enough because they have really charming personalities. They can elevate you on a pedestal with flattery and love and then suddenly throw you off. The initial honeymoon phase fades soon and you are left feeling completely drained. Here is why narcissists are toxic:
1. They Feel Entitled
These people are born with an inflated sense of self and they feel entitled. They think they are the best and everyone inferior to them should spend their time pleasing them. They will never give you any security whatsoever but will expect you to constantly chase them. The moment you stop smothering them with affection and attention, they’ll stop being invested in the relationship. All they need isn’t love, but devotion. They are power hungry souls who want to feel needed and they’ll make you cater to their needs with their power of rhetoric.
2. Zero Empathy
So you know how you consider what other people will feel because of your actions and decisions? You think twice before hurting others? Narcissists don’t even have an ounce of empathy. All they ever care about is their own selfish interests. They aren’t bothered about your emotions and what you may want. If you don’t appease them, they will make your life miserable. Till their wishes are fulfilled, they’ll be sweet – this is how petty they are.
3. Attention Seekers
What do you expect from a healthy relationship? Trust, companionship, understanding, to name a few. Narcissists just need validation. They don’t care about the finer nuances of love and won’t put effort in the relationship. All they want is attention. Their relationships don’t last long because they enjoy the initial all consuming passion but hate the responsibility that comes with it. They just need the satisfaction that they’ll get whoever they want. The thrill is in the chase for them, not in a meaningful mutual bond.
4. Lack Of Communication
Do you feel like you’ve been talking to the wall all this time? If you want to tell them something they’ve done wrong, they’ll either ignore you or pick up a nasty fight. These narcissists live in perpetual denial which makes them feel like they’re some demigod who can never go wrong. They won’t listen to your part of the story. They simply aren’t interested in knowing how they’re affecting you. They can’t handle criticism and will spin it in your direction all the time.
When things become difficult, which means they aren’t getting what they want from you, they’ll pack their bags and leave without looking back. You know why? Because rejecting someone gives them a sense of superiority, like they have the upper hand in the relationship and hence they’ve made the choice. They will go on thinking that you have ruined the relationship because they aren’t capable of bad things.
6. They’ll Make You A Loner
Narcissists will first separate you from the people who mean a lot to you. They do this because they need undivided attention. They will be possessive and then treat you like trash. Once you are isolated, they’ll start calling you needy for wanting to be with them. They thrive on making people feel bad about themselves and you’ll think you are dumb. Your self-esteem will fade in their presence because they want you to think you’re getting what you deserve. You’ll stop interacting with people because you’ll feel no one needs you in their lives as you are a terrible person. In this way they will turn you into a loner and make you think they’re doing you a favor by being with you.
Please understand that you are your own person and no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Know when to draw the line and leave. Life is too short to go on living on someone else’s terms. Rebuild your lost self and be with someone who values you.
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