Off The Record
Mom Doesn’t Want Son To Say “Sorry” And “Thank You” Because Of This Particular Reason
There are numerous parenting philosophies, and each has its adherents.
While some parents prioritize being rigorous, others are more laid-back and emphasize being kind and understanding.
One particular mom, frequently receives criticism for her parenting techniques, so she wanted to discuss her unusual approach and ask for advice.
She decided to break the cycle in her family. At 38 years old, she wrote a heartfelt letter:
I had previously commented on other people’s postings, giving advise and expressing my opinions. I’m now looking for feedback from your readers regarding my son’s circumstances.
She began her story by saying, “My son, Georgie, is 8 years old. All my life, I knew I wanted children. When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to adopt a less adversarial style of parenting.”
The parenting style she chose was affected by her childhood.
Her decision came from a bitter personal experience. “Growing up under my parents’ strict rules, I understood the consequences of an authoritarian upbringing. It wasn’t just tough for me; it affected everyone in our household. The constant pressure led to anxiety, and my self-esteem suffered. My relationships with my parents were strained.”
I didn’t know how much this setting was affecting my mental health for years. But when I became older, I deliberately tried to face these difficulties.
When raising children, it’s critical to strike a balance between understanding and punishment.
I want to provide my son with a loving environment that values respect, love, and honest communication because of this.
I don’t want him to experience the same difficulties that I did.
My spouse, though, is not in agreement with this strategy. He feels that our son ought to be aware of social conventions and the repercussions of his behavior.
She decided not to force her son to give false apologies.
“I will never force my child to apologize or say thank you and please,” she clarified. This strategy might mentally traumatize him, in my opinion.
We are training them to be false when we make them apologize, even when they don’t mean it.
It’s okay if your child doesn’t truly feel bad about what they did.
Children need time to develop empathy and understand the impact of their actions on others.
Kids learn from forced apologies that other people’s feelings are more important than their own.
Occasionally, after a disagreement or argument, we need some time to collect ourselves and consider our mistakes. This kind of thinking enables us to acknowledge our errors and recognize our role in the issue.
We deny children this time to reflect when we press them to apologize. We also advise them to put the other person’s needs ahead of their own feelings.
Adults who always want to please others, find it difficult to stand up for themselves, and are unable to obtain what they need could result from this. Georgie doesn’t make up an apology because of this.
Emma related an incident that happened at the playground: “I went to the kid who Georgie had pushed at the playground and apologized, instead of making him apologize.”
Georgie would, I think, observe my actions and pick up appropriate manners in that circumstance.
However, Georgie’s mother was not amused and requested that he issue an apology. She referred to me as a horrible and careless mother after I gave my justification.
She faces a lot of criticism from family and friends.
Emma gets a lot of flak from friends and family. Our domestic argument intensified after the playground incident. I disagree with my husband’s insistence on tougher procedures.
Some believe that controlling their child’s conduct with force or cruelty is a beneficial parenting technique. They may act in this way out of uncertainty or fear.
My goal is to be a friend to my kid, support him in managing his feelings, and guide him through life.
This method of communication teaches the youngster about responsibility and independence, as well as how they impact other people. I don’t downplay my authority; I simply don’t think I’m better than my son.
Already, Georgie and I have a close relationship. I’ll let him know if I’m feeling overwhelmed and that I need some alone time.
He’s learning from me now, so he’ll let me know when he needs more room.
“Despite always having confidence in my parenting methods and seeing positive results, constant criticism from my husband and other parents has made me question my decisions,” she said in her letter’s conclusion, pleading for assistance.
I’m hoping you can advise me, audience. What are your thoughts on this?
In order to make sure their kids succeed, parents frequently look for universal strategies. But, when circumstances change, tried-and-true success formulas might not work anymore.
Well-meaning deeds can occasionally present problems for a child’s future. For the sake of their child’s financial future, parents should steer clear of these ten parenting blunders.
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