Off The Record

MIL Wants To Charge Family Over $200 For Cleaning Their Home

Published on January 22, 2024

It warms the heart to have loved ones pitch in when times get tough. The happy couple in today’s story had some help around the house when the baby came since the husband’s mom stepped in to help out.

But much to their surprise, upon their return home, they found a message on the fridge that completely baffled them.

This story is rewritten for originality

A week ago, I gave birth to my darling baby. I am 31 years old. I am very relieved to finally be home with our baby boy, even though I was only released yesterday due to difficulties. I was standing on the carpet in my bedroom when my waters first broke, and my husband (M33) was also home. I tossed some towels on the floor and we headed for the hospital as cleaning was obviously not an issue.

My mother-in-law (F59) offered to feed our dogs while we were in the hospital, and we were really grateful to her. Yesterday, I didn’t realize my mother-in-law had cleaned my bedroom carpet until we got home. She had left a receipt and a note attached to the refrigerator, requesting reimbursement. Along with cleaning the rest of the house, she insisted on getting her hands on $200 worth of items and $25 per hour in wages for the day.

We didn’t specifically ask her to clean my carpet and the rest of my house, but it was lovely of her nevertheless. ‘Hello mom, we greatly appreciate your aid over the last few days while (my name) was in the hospital.’ My husband texted her the following text. Someone coming over to watch the dogs was a lifesaver.

We found your receipt and note on the fridge and are a bit irritated that you decided to 1. search the entire house since neither of us had informed you about the water breaking in my bedroom; 2. go out and purchase cleaning supplies worth hundreds of dollars; and 3. charge us for your time and the supplies. Additionally, we would want to inquire about the whereabouts of these cleaning supplies; after all, we want to make sure that the money we spend gets its fair share.

Trusting you with the dogs was something we did because we truly believed you were helping us out of the goodness of your heart, not because you were looking to make a fast buck. It hurts us as a family that you would act this way while (my name) was sick.

My mother-in-law was quick to respond to my husband, expressing her deepest gratitude and explaining that she did everything out of the goodness of her heart. Additional messages from other family members have informed me that my mother-in-law volunteered to help me despite “her advanced age” because she loved me and didn’t feel obligated to. I had to silence my phone to avoid the inundation of texts, but my husband’s relatives still hold him in high esteem for’manipulating the situation,’ which they see as an attempt to cast MIL in a negative light while she merely sought to prepare the house for the baby.

I am really irritated by the entire situation, but my husband has suggested that maybe we might pay someone to stop bothering our extended family and instead focus on enjoying this time as new parents. No matter what, I refuse to pay his mom. Although she was kind enough to deduct the supplies from our account, she insisted on getting payment for her services as she had dealt with “a biohazard.” Earlier, she texted my husband again, stating the same thing.

The online community took her side

“I hope you and your husband discuss setting up very hard boundaries with his family and protecting your child. Congrats on the new baby! Enjoy the cuddles while you can!” © Distinct_Score_3914 / Reddit

“You never asked her to do anything. I would stand your ground on this. Ignore her and the family and enjoy your baby.” © Strange_Lake7646 / Reddit

“You should not pay her because this will just open the door to other demands by her, paying for babysitting, perhaps. Be sure to give her strict instructions to not take on ’extra work’ if you have to ask her to do something for you again.” © stroppo / Reddit

“Pay her. It will be worth it to put an end to her shenanigans. As you count the money into her hand, tell her you will never again ask her for a favor, and that includes babysitting. Then, ask her for your key back […] Establish relationships with a good dog walker/sitter and a few good babysitters. Your lives will be happier.” © Literally_Taken / Reddit

“I understand both you and your husband’s points of view. I am totally in agreement that your MIL was completely out of line in a number of ways, but I also see why your husband wants to just put it behind you. You don’t need the stress of dealing with this unnecessary drama.” © Major_Zucchini5315 / Reddit

“Paying her to get her and the family off your back sounds like a solution, but it’s actually just setting up expectations for what she can get away with when it comes to you and now your little one.” © dancingbanana3 / Reddit

“When my DIL went into labor early, I cleaned, cooked, and recruited a friend to sew changing table covers. DIL had been on bed rest for 8 weeks in the downstairs bedroom, so everything had to be moved upstairs to the master. It was my joy to have this new family come home to everything clean, ready for baby, fresh baked muffins, and a refrigerator full of healthy snacks, fruit, and casseroles. It was my pleasure to wait on my son and DIL — feeding them, doing laundry, keeping the house clean—for the next 2 weeks to give them time to figure it out together. It never would have crossed my mind to ask for compensation or to be paid for the food I purchased.” © needofanap / Reddit

“I was so glad to read your husband’s reply and how he stood up to her and then was dismayed at the end of the post where he now wants to cave in. It sounds like you could both disengage from her and her minions, so you could both focus on your new baby. I would block all of them, at least until they apologize.” © -JTO / Reddit

We have plenty of other examples with MILs and their in-laws not getting along, so something like this happens a lot in families.