Following her father’s departure to be with his new family, a mother and her daughter grew quite close.
However, the daughter approached her mom a week prior to her graduation party and expressed her desire to invite her estranged father.
But there was a catch—her dad could only go if she agreed to one thing…
The story was written by an anonymous female narrator on June 1, 2022, on the “AITA” subreddit. B, the lady’s 18-year-old daughter, had a strong bond with her father when she was younger, even though her parents had split up before she was born. The woman was in her 40s.
But things changed when she was eight years old, and her father got married; he then grew aloof and left her for his new family. Significantly, B’s behavior became more defiant as a result of this desertion. B appeared to be coping fairly well while attending therapy, despite her difficulties.
Why Was the Woman Upset?
B hadn’t seen her dad since she was twelve years old, and the few occasions they did communicate were to make empty promises to get back together. Despite this, B had a close relationship with her mother and they did most things together. The fact that B called her mom her “best friend” shows how close they were.
The woman was filled with anticipation as the day of B’s graduation drew near. On the other hand, B told her mom a week prior to the graduation party that she wanted to invite her dad and his son. Her father had issued an ultimatum, saying that she would be unable to attend the event if he went.
Because she felt unforgivably betrayed, the woman vented her wrath onto B, who she blamed for her grief and betrayal. In her response, B shared her desire for her father to share in her life’s significant milestones, similar to how her mother had been there for many of them. Their quarrel intensified as a result of this disagreement.
In her last ditch effort to sway her daughter’s decision, the mother begged with her the night before the commencement ceremony. “I apologize, but I am not reevaluating my decision,” B stated firmly. Tragically, the woman departed, her spirit burdened by grief. She broke down in tears until her sister consoled her by suggesting they go out during the graduation to distract herself, which the woman gladly agreed.
What Happened on Graduation Day?
The mother awoke to her daughter sobbing the morning before the commencement ceremony. She glanced at the clock and saw that the ceremony was going to start in just a few minutes. She inquired of B, perplexed, as to why she hadn’t departed yet.
B broke the news to B that her father had left her again and stopped reacting with a voice brimming with disappointment. Despite everything, the mother urged her daughter to enjoy her graduation ceremony as she embraced her daughter warmly.
Fearing she would be the only one without parents present, B inquired whether her mother would not be attending now since her father wasn’t. She apologized again and said she was sorry, but she had plans already. B yelled out to her mom, calling her a lousy mom, in her pain.
Even though it broke her heart, the mom still decided not to go to the ceremony; she was adamant about showing her daughter that her choices will have consequences. She has been silent ever since B returned from the graduation, looking utterly dejected and as if she had been sobbing for a lifetime.
An image of a distraught young woman gazing at her mobile device | Source: Shutterstock
Worried that her decision had been too severe, the woman was now grappling with feelings of regret. Although her sister was on board with her choice, she felt guilty about it after a fellow parent made a remark about B’s obvious sadness at the graduation. Amid her internal conflict, the mother sought counsel, wondering if she had done the wrong thing by trying to teach her daughter a lesson.
Another Unpleasant Conversation
She updated her followers on the issue one day following her initial message. B, her daughter, has been secretly living with her father for the last ten years, she said. No signs of manipulation were present throughout her sessions with B’s therapist; rather, B appeared to be clinging to an idealized memory of her time spent with her father.
The mother talked to her daughter about how she felt unappreciated and left out and apologized for missing the graduation. B wanted things to go back to normal, so she apologized and said she loves you.
B maintained that not inviting her mother was a good decision because she was more comfortable in her father’s company. Because of how this made the woman feel, she went to confront B about how she had treated her emotionally. B maintained her firm stance, saying that her father will always come first, regardless of the circumstances.
The woman, who was bitter and furious, knew she could only forgive so much until she couldn’t take it anymore if B’s behavior continued. The woman vented her unhappiness at being treated less seriously than her daughter’s father, even though she knew doing so may cause blowback.
Although she promised to be there for B in the future, she was unsure if she would be willing to maintain this pattern for future milestones like marriages or graduations. The majority of the internet community thought she was “NTA,” and she regretted not taking their counsel.
What Came Next
In her last update from October 2022, the woman reflected on how she had handled the matter and admitted that her questioning her daughter about if she regretted inviting her had been a very immature move on her part. Even though her daughter called her her “best friend,” she still had a parenting duty to play, which included disciplining her.
The mother tried to get in touch with her daughter’s father (called F) after the incident at graduation, but she only got a letter back. F asserted that he and his family had been threatened and aggressively approached by their daughter, which caused him to withdraw from her.
Despite his claims that he had attempted to establish a positive relationship with B, he accused her of stalking and threatening his family. B confronted her mother, blaming her for the end of her father-daughter connection, after the woman spoke to her about these claims. B abruptly ended all communication and cut off all touch when she left for college.
Despite the agony, the woman expressed relief because her self-esteem had taken a beating throughout the procedure. She began treatment, felt some relief, and, after ten years of abstinence, felt comfortable going on a date again. She admitted that she and B had a rocky relationship and that they had to overcome a lot of obstacles.
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Is this story something you can relate to? Do you believe the mother ought to have been there for her daughter’s graduation ceremony and forgiven her?
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