Marriage is an accomplishment to be celebrated with love, as it should be, but the impending costs can transform celebration into stress.
This is something a parent vented about when he came to Reddit to discuss the conundrum he faced when he was confronted with his daughter’s expensive wedding fantasies.
The New York father wrote on the Reddit thread titled “Am I The A*e?” that he had promised his daughter, who was getting married, that he would pay for her wedding out of his own pocket.
But when he learned how extravagant his daughter’s wedding plans were, the father’s generosity was put to the test in ways he hadn’t anticipated.
The daughter’s ideal wedding was not a little family affair but rather a lavish destination wedding with between one hundred and two hundred invited guests, held in the beautiful scenery of New Zealand.
Furthermore, it would cost an eye-popping $200,000.
With this news, the father was split between his desire to be a good father and his concerns about the extravagant display of riches, which he saw as “burning money” and which he thought would alienate family members.
He wrote, “My wife feels I should do it because we can afford it, but I find it to be a pointless showing of wealth. Now my daughter is not talking to me, nor is my wife. Which got me thinking should I bite the bullet and essentially burn money, and alienate family members to make my daughter’s dream wedding a reality?”
Redditors were quick to share their thoughts, with one user arguing: “If she can’t pay for a destination wedding on her own, then she shouldn’t be having a destination wedding. It seems cruel but it’s true. Not to mention there’s so much more money involved with the flights and the hotels and stuff. Is she going to be paying for her own ticket or are you expected to fork out for them too? And her fiancé’s ticket.”
They continued: “Not to mention the fact that she’s thrown a strop and isn’t talking to you tells me she doesn’t deserve it. I’m a believer of we are not entitled to our parents money. I don’t expect any inheritance off of my dad if he ever passes, even though he has a big life insurance. I would rather have my dad than the money.”
A Reddit user even suggested a middle ground: the father should give whatever he feels comfortable giving, and the daughter can arrange the wedding within that amount.
“Establish the amount of $$ you are willing to provide and give her the budget. Tell her anything above that is on her and her fiance. Make sure to tell her if that includes travel, etc for the bridal couple and family members. If she wants a blow out wedding, she can pay for it,” they wrote.
The father hasn’t revealed any new information other than the fact that his daughter is now avoiding him and calling him a “jerk.” How inconsiderate!
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Especially as a parent, striking a balance between being kind and being realistic may be difficult, and this story serves as a good reminder of that.
What would you do if you were in his shoes? Please SHARE this article with your opinion!