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4 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Partner, According To Couples Therapists

Relationship

4 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Partner, According To Couples Therapists

None of us want to break up. No one wants to go through the phase of lamenting or bereaving a broken relationship which would forever haunt us, give us nightmares, or make us unable to pursue a new relationship with the fear that it might break up again, and you would be back to square one.

What is the point of breaking up, some may ask. Well, relationships might be important, but having self-esteem and respect for your own self is even more important, and when that is at stake, breaking up seems the most ideal thing to do.

It is an unwanted necessity. But sometimes, it seems to be the only way out. Crying once and for all would be a blessing instead of crying every day, because you have suddenly realized that this relationship, for which you had high hopes, suddenly turned out to be a hell-hole where you have been pushed into.

Some people are unable to break up, for they melt thinking, or understanding what the other person might be feeling, while you are literally pushing them out of the door. But to them, you need to realize, if someone doesn’t respect you for who you are, is there a point in being with that person?

1. Commitment Isn’t a One-Way Road

Commitment isn’t just a single individual’s duty. Both of the partners involved in this relationship have to be fully committed to each other, and if they keep failing at this, there would be no relationship to be in. You can try as much as you want to bring about a semblance of equilibrium, but when you are seeing that this relationship is just you against the world, it is time to move on. You can be as committed and faithful and dedicated to a person as much as you can be, but that won’t make them be committed and faithful to you. Both of you have to want to be this way for the other person.

2. Conditions, Promises, Guarantees

Love isn’t a chocolate that you would give someone just because they agreed to sleep with you. It needs to be unconditional and aplenty, so that the other person genuinely feels that you are in love with the other person. And that shouldn’t be one way. Both the partners involved need to realize that love needs to be like a free flow in the ocean, with no barriers to stop it from flowing towards each other. The moment conditions come in, it reduces the longevity of the relationship, and before long, you are staring into the barrel of the gun.

Must-Read: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert

3. The Other Person

90% of relationships fail because one or both partners have fallen for someone else, and trust me, that’s the worst feeling ever. When you have given your all to someone, only for them to give THEIR ALL to someone else, it hits you where it hurts. There is nothing else left in this relationship. Calling it a relationship actually, would be a farce in itself. The only thing left for you is to leave and hope that they have a successful life together, where you are really thinking that they both die a gruesome death. Break up. Immediately. Your position has been compromised. Unfortunately, these kind of things happen, and it only means that you two weren’t the right one for each other.

4. Lack of Happiness

Relationships are designed to make people happy in each other’s company. If that fails, are you really in a relationship? If a person can’t make you happy, or if that person’s very presence fills you with a feeling that is far, far away from ‘happy’, leave that person out of your life. No one deserves that negativity in their life. Now, you could be the one toxic for her, or she could be the one toxic for you, but in any case, you would have to leave that person, for it would make you unstable, and volatile. And destroy whatever sanity you have left in you. People can make you happy or unhappy, but happiness mainly comes from within. If the person you are with doesn’t awake the joy and happiness within you, and they don’t really have any kind of influence on your overall emotional state in your life, or they only do in a negative way, breaking up is inevitable.

Must read: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

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