Off The Record

Am I Wrong For Kicking Out My Boyfriend’s Sister And Mom In Front Of Him? Here’s What They Did

Published on January 22, 2024

As soon as a woman and her boyfriend got settled in their new home, his mother and sister came to visit, which quickly turned into something surprising. The woman ask them to leave, which was a surprise. The unanswered question: What made her make such a ‘terrible’ choice?

In Reddit’s “AITA” thread on January 10, 2022, an unknown woman told her story. One of the posters (OP), who was 25 years old, had been dating Ryan, who was 27 years old, for more than two years and had just moved in together.

Ryan comes from a wealthy upper-class family, while she comes from a lower-middle-class family. The big difference could be seen in the family’s lavish lifestyle, which included expensive art, imported furniture, a cook, and a maid. The Original Poster (OP) thought about the difference and said that he was cheap like her.

*A mother-daughter duo | Source: flickr.com/visualthinker/CC BY-SA 2.0 (for illustration purposes only)*

The Unwanted Guests

OP’s boyfriend’s mom and sister came to see their new home the day before she chose to post her story online. When they met them at the front door, the first thing they said was something rude about how big the house was.

People online liked OP’s Reddit story, and most of the comments called her “NTA.”

Even though Ryan and OP were expecting criticism like this, they ignored it and let them in. But their guests didn’t hold back. They quickly made fun of different parts of the simple home, like how there wasn’t any art and how cheap the chairs and countertop looked. OP remembered, “They went so far as to critique the type of glass used on the shower door.”

As they went into the couple’s bedroom, the invasion got worse. Even though OP didn’t have much respect for them, he thought that “at least they’d have the decency to not thoroughly dissect the whole room and just take a quick look.” I was so wrong.”

OP continued her story by talking about how the stress rose during the unwanted visit. The mother and sister were also very interested in the bedroom. The first thing they said was about how the beds were set up. OP used a main cover, a sherpa blanket, and a weighted blanket to keep warm because she had anemia.

Even though the bed looked strange, she supported it by saying, “It doesn’t look the prettiest, but it’s OUR room.” In an attempt to make sense of things, OP described how she liked to sleep, but was met with negative responses.

“They said that I could, at the very least, put them in the closet. I showed them that the closet is already full. They rolled their eyes and mumbled something I couldn’t understand,” she remembered. When the unpleasant guests started to look through the dresser drawers, things got worse.

OP kept their cool and politely asked them to stop, stressing how personal the things inside were. She finally snapped when she was told she had something to hide. “At that point, I had enough. I asked them to leave.”

Even though they looked confused, she stood her ground, which made them question Ryan’s position. “He said that it was getting late and that they should get going so they don’t get home too late,” OP said of his diplomatic answer.

What Came Next

After the departure of his mother and sister, Ryan turned to OP, expressing reservations about her choice to ask them to leave. He told her that it wasn’t her place to do that and made it clear that he had only agreed to keep the fight from starting right away.

Ryan made it clear that he could have stopped the fight if she had told him she was uncomfortable. Defending her stance, OP demanded that the mother and sister be held accountable for their inappropriate behavior, asserting, “They needed to be called out, and [Ryan] wasn’t doing that, so I took it upon myself.”

When OP thought about what happened afterward, he pointed out how unusual the situation was.“This is the first argument we’ve had that hasn’t been resolved within a few hours, so I’m wondering if maybe I am in the wrong?” She asked because she wasn’t sure what her acts would mean for their relationship.

OP also gave an update on the situation by saying that she and her boyfriend finally had time to talk about what happened, even though they were both busy with work. During their talk, she made it clear that she didn’t like how his mother and sister were going through her drawers without her permission.

OP said that she felt forced to take action because Ryan wasn’t dealing with the problem. She also said that she was within her rights to kick them out because she co-owned the house.

Her boyfriend admitted that they didn’t understand each other and said that what he said about it not being her place wasn’t clear. He made it clear that what he meant was that he liked taking care of family issues himself.

He agreed that she had every right to kick out rude guests, said sorry for the confusion, and promised to be there for her in future meetings. Ryan also said he was shocked by how his family was acting and said he would be more careful in the future.

Some commenters were worried about OP’s choice, but she defended it by saying that her boyfriend’s answer was sincere and that she had been with him for two years and promised not to end things quickly because of this.

OP thought about how hard she had worked with Ryan’s family while putting up with rude comments without responding. It was made clear to her that Ryan had always ignored his family’s mean comments about her before this happened. She said that Ryan’s family had disliked her from the start because of her money, which was an example of picking your fights.

Overhearing insulting words like “trailer trash,” she told them that this was her first straight confrontation with them because usually she felt like it was pointless to talk to them.

Even though Ryan generally steps in to help her, she was confused by his lack of response this time, giving the idea that he might be used to his family acting this way.

Comments from Readers

People online liked OP’s Reddit story, and most of the comments called her “NTA.” Someone wrote, “NTA – Who the hell goes through the drawers in someone else’s house? That’s insane behavior. Even if they had been perfect guests up until that point, that act alone is worthy of giving a guest the boot out the door.”

“NTA. [It’s] your place too. You have every right to kick them out. Bravo on not letting them belittle you. Your bf should grow some balls and defend you and your home. I hope this isn’t a sign of how your future looks,” said a second person.

“NTA. These people overstepped every boundary by going through your drawers. And please, show this thread to your husband. He also needs to [realize] how badly they behaved. (Also kudos to him for not arguing in front of them! And to you for having a beautiful shiny spine and telling them to go!),” added yet another user.