When we step into a new relationship, we are likely to be the best versions of ourselves; the most understanding, the most polite and as accommodating as we can possibly be.
We put our best behavior forward but, as time passes, we tend to say things that we would never say in the beginning of the relationship.
Saying “I’m sorry” is definitely not a bad idea but sometimes a simple “I’m sorry” does not really cut it, so it would be a pretty good idea to avoid saying the following things in a relationship:
1. “I told you so.”
This is honestly the most immature thing to say to anyone. Leave this phrase back in your childhood if you want to have successful adult relationships. What it does is it only pisses the other person off. If you say this phrase one too many time, the person will get agitated because it will make them feel like they are not smart enough. Empathy is what you need to have a successful relationship and not upset your loved one.
2. “You’re being too sensitive” or “Calm down”
Never in the history of calming down ever has someone calmed down just because someone told them to calm down. When you ask your partner to calm down or say that they are overreacting, you are telling them that their feelings are not important and that ultimately means that they are not important. Try to understand what they are feeling and why they are feeling that way. Make an effort. A relationship needs work. You cannot half-ass your way into something as sensitive as a relationship.
3. “You can’t do this or that”
Nobody wants to be controlled by their significant other. It is not possible that your boyfriend or girlfriend will always do only things that you like and want. They will do things that you don’t think are wise but that does not mean that you can tell them what to do and what not to do. You are not their parent so do not try to act like one. If they want to do something that you don’t approve of but it makes them happy, you must let them.
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4. Anything that begins with “you always” or “you never”
Don’t use accusatory tones with your partner. Whenever you do this, you are messing with the trust factor in a relationship, the thing you want to mess with the least in a relationship. Don’t be immature. Don’t always find faults in your partner but instead find out what your relationship is lacking and work on that together. Nothing is better than trust and bonding exercises.
5. “I don’t care”
Well, there is not much of a point to even be in a relationship if you don’t care. It may so happen that you actually do care but you say this in the heat of a moment, but remember that once you do, you will have irretrievably lost your partner’s confidence in you and they will push you as far away as they possibly can.
6. “If you really loved me, you’d..”
This is the trademark sign of a toxic and dysfunctional relationship. It is really unfair to put pressure on a loved one and have them prove their love to you because that is the worst thing you can do. Love is not based on tangible proof.
The key to any successful relationship is to listen. Listen to your partner, and don’t just shut them out with something as disrespectful as a “whatever”. You push your partner away by doing this, and they feel the need to find and go to someone else who will give them more importance.
The 3 Best books on Love and Relationships You Must Read:
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
- Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
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