Not everyone we call our friend thinks the same way about us. It is quite true that not everyone we call our friend is actually our friend.
Some people stay our friends either because they need something from us or because having a lot of friends makes them look better – either way, it’s merely because of an advantage. It doesn’t really hurt as long as it doesn’t disturb your mental peace.
It is quite normal to have disagreements in friendship. But if the relationship makes you feel uncomfortable regularly or they upset you every now and then, it’s about time you appraise it and decide what to do. Nobody wants a hurtful relationship, the kind which negatively affects you.
Here’s how you can recognize your so-called “friend”:
1. They will constantly compare you with other friends they have
You know it’s not real when your friend is constantly comparing you with other friends they have. “Oh, Sarah gifted me a much better watch on my birthday. Yours is just fine.” Is it really how a real friend will accept your gift? Obviously not! Friends don’t compare you. They see you as a unique individual who cannot be like somebody else and somebody else cannot be like them. Period.
2. You will listen to their problems but they won’t have an ear for your issues
How often do you find yourself listening to their problems but when you need them to listen to your issues, they find a reason to bail out? It’s a clear sign it isn’t real. Your friend will take out time to hear what you have to say. Your problems and opinion matter to them.
3. They will criticize you scornfully but won’t welcome your criticism
Real friends help you grow by pointing out what lacks but their criticism is constructive. They don’t criticize for the mere sake of criticizing or make you feel bad but to provide you with an opportunity to grow. These friends in question, they will always find a reason to criticize you scornfully but when you criticize them out of goodwill, they don’t take it well.
4. Mostly, it’s you who initiates meetings
Do you often find yourself calling them and asking to meet up? Don’t they ever come forward and arrange a meeting? Well, it might indicate just how selfish they are. They don’t really care about the friendship. When you share a true friendship, equal efforts are made by both the parties to maintain what you two have.
You should also read: Pay Attention To These 5 Warning Signals In Manipulative Friendship
5. They think that you need to change
You two just had a fight and your friend is saying things like, “You should act less aggressively. You could have said it softer. You are impulsive and you should work on being less of it.”. Their remarks always make you feel like you need to change something within you. They are never at fault. It’s you who needs to change. Well, the truth is, you do! You need to change the company you have!
6. They are very inconsistent
Their behaviors inconsistencies and unpredictability always catches you off-guard. You are never sure how they will respond. One moment they are all sweet and receiving but the other moment, they will act like they don’t even know you. One day you had a really good chat with them but the other day, they ignore you like you don’t even exist. It’s plain confusing.
7. You are always cautious about what you say
If you ever have to think twice about saying or expressing what you feel, it’s a toxic relationship! Real friends give you ample space to express yourself. You know they will understand, even when you say the wrong thing. With toxic friends, they will immediately snap when you say something they don’t like. That’s how you know when to end it with them.
Despite all these reasons, you will always have enough reasons to have them around. They might be good to you at times, but the truth is that, most of the time, they are pretty toxic and not much of a good friend. It’s actually pretty complicated with them. You will find it really hard to let go of them but you will have to. Nobody deserves a friend who isn’t willing to live up to the relationship.