With the passage of time, Hollywood has not yet been able to get over the ‘love at first sight’ cliché. We’ve grown up on a steady diet of pop-culture that puts in our heads that the perfect relationship, that one partner you’d slug it out with for the long run, just tends to…happen. Unfortunately we’re not going to be feeding you fantasies.
Does that mean the instant working long-term relationship can’t happen to people? No, it doesn’t. However, the likelihood of it happening to most people is very small indeed. The probability that it will happen to you is so small you might as well wait around for the Cubs to win the World Series again.
Don’t be discouraged. That’s why we’re here. The perfect relationship is right there a misnomer.
Perfection is difficult to define and by it’s unattainable. But having a long-term relationship which is mutually fulfilling and makes your own life more meaningful and complete is as close to perfection as anyone can get. The good news is that this is not a silver screen romantic dream we’re peddling. You really can find your soul-mate, but it’s going to involve some work. The writers Grant and Melissa Virtue in their book ‘The Angels of Love’ list out ways to have an empowering and truly fulfilling relationship.
The 6 following steps are broad guidelines that you might want to follow when you’re looking around for the prospective soul-mate.
1. Right Place Right Time
Where you run into your future partner will have an impact on how the relationship turns out. That’s not hokum, it makes logical sense. Think about it. Leaving aside the chances of random encounters, you are more likely to find love in the places you frequent.
These would be places that interest you, or an events that sync up with your personal interests. The first connection might be based on things you guys share in common. Are you a lover of music? Chances are you’re listening to the latest tracks in some record store or attending some new band’s concert. The point is when you’re looking for love its okay to look around your comfort zone. That actually makes sense when you’re looking for something lasting and permanent. The right place at the right time could gift you the person who might share the most common traits with you. But you can roll the dice and stack the odds in your favor by choosing to look for people who might be like you.
2. Getting Ready To Seek Love
As the book details out, the angels of love will assist and guide you in your quest for love. But remember that under no circumstances can they interfere with the free will of another individual. Sometimes you may not end up with the person best matched to you in terms of lifestyle, and that’s alright. The angels are around to make you a better person and to be ready for the moment when it comes… not to influence fate.
3. The Dating Game
Dating is a skill and can be honed as any other skill. The more you work on it, the better you’ll be. But there is no need to feel unduly distressed by it. When you’re looking for a long-term partner, there has to be a slight shift in the criterion.
First, since you’re not casually dating. Look for a person who matches your interests and tastes. Physical appearance alone won’t cut it anymore.
Second you need to make a judgment call on whether the other person is emotionally ready to commit to a long-term relationship.
Third it’s ideal if your prospective partner is already single. That being said, we have to admit that while you shouldn’t be involved in the business of breaking families; try balancing that out with your prospective partner. If they are ready to move on from their previous relationship then you can think about proceeding. Basically it depends on the situation. But don’t get bogged down by any moral absolutes. Life’s complicated.
4. Be Brave
Having the courage to connect with another person requires you to be brave. The thought of vulnerability is something we all struggle with. The courage to BE vulnerable around each other is the hallmark of a spiritually fulfilling relationship. It also forces you to face the inner demons of your own life and realize that you can both give and receive love.
5. Patience is Key
A relationship is a lot of work. Patience and perseverance will have to be your constant companions along every step of the way. A relationship is like a flower tree; it needs time to grow. Both of you need time to adjust to each other’s rhythms.
6. When You’ve Finally Found ‘The One’
The smallest subconscious nudge, a bit of a magnetic pull; and you know you’ve been attracted to the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. The important thing to remember here is that you have to initiate your own feelings and be honest with that person. Follow your gut and it could lead you to your heart. The res,t as they say, could be history. Good luck!