It is obviously very important to have a good relationship with all and sundry, but it is equally important to be respected. Any sort of respect that you expect can only be granted to you if you stand your ground and stop being a pushover. It takes time, but in the end, you would be better off without being a pushover.
Let’s just put one thing to ground – you can’t please everyone. So why not care for yourself instead of the public that wouldn’t bother pleasing you? Seems fair, doesn’t it? Well, it is.
Are you a pushover? Let’s see:
1. Can’t Seem To Say ‘No’
This is a toughie, isn’t it? Most of the introverts are incapable of saying a big, loud ‘No’ for everyone to adhere to. Well, this makes you a pushover, for everyone knows you would do anything they ask you to, without having any such qualms whatsoever. Even if you do have a problem, you are too emotional and empathetic to say ‘No’. Well, honey, this does demean you a bit. While you may have the best intentions at heart, they do not. They definitely do not. They will continue to use you.
2. You Want Validation
Your entire life seems to be based on what other people think about you. You dress the way they want you to, behave as they want, even eat according to their demands. You have no individuality of your own, and that doesn’t make anyone owe you any favor. You would still be their favorite doormat, no matter what. No one can live like that now, can they? You gotta earn your respect, you gotta snatch it from them. For that’s how the world works. It’s a cruel, cruel place, and you gotta be cruel.
3. You Back Down
This isn’t necessarily bad, for you are a pacifist. But that does make you someone who is incredibly vulnerable and is afraid of meeting up people and shutting them down in their faces. You are insecure, you are doubtful, and that doesn’t bode well in a debate. You need to be fiery, for you are standing for your respect and rights, and nothing should stop you along the way. You would rather stop them from arguing and instead accede to their demand. Don’t play the devil’s advocate when it is for your respect. You don’t want that, seriously!
4. Extremely Emotionally Manipulative
You are a trashcan for their emotional bulls**it. When they are upset, or angry, or depressed, you think it to be your fault, even when it isn’t. Now, you might think that to be healthy behavior, supporting your friends, but you are harming yourself with this attitude of yours. Just imagine this: you are depressed and in need of a shoulder to fall upon. What do you do? You cry alone. Simply because you have been blaming yourself for everyone’s misdeeds and they have let you. Now, when you need it, there’s no one out there to look out for you. Don’t do this. Look out for yourself. Don’t listen to others when they don’t listen to you.
You will also be interested in reading: Pay Attention To These 5 Warning Signals In Manipulative Friendship
5. No Boundaries
Neither do you set them, nor do people respect them. Its midnight, and you are running around, trying to reach your friend who has asked (read: ordered) you to bring her some burgers. They might not be willing to do the same for you, have you thought of that? Well, guess what, they would take the burger, ask you to leave, and go back to enjoying their life, while you wasted your money, time and everything. Your colleague asks you to do something and you forget everything that you needed to do, only to see them happy. This is toxic.
6. You Do Things That You Might Not Want To
It’s basic. You don’t like partying; they will force you to. You don’t like drinking; peer pressure. You don’t like going out at 2 am, but they would make you. This is brutality, this is torture, and this is madness, and even if you don’t want it, your fear of upsetting others would make you do it.
Don’t be a pushover. It’s not worth it. To anyone!
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