Self-Improvement

5 Ways to Spot a Liar in a Matter of Seconds

Published on January 14, 2019

Everyone hates liars. For any common individual, dishonesty is the worst attribute to a human.

If asked what trait we least like in a person, most of us would say deceitfulness, which comes with dishonesty. But most of the times we tend to overlook our own faults and we won’t be able to tell if we become one of the liars.

We might be afraid to see that present in us but it is important to recognize it in yourself. If you overlook it, you will be one of the people you hate and thus it would be lying to yourself. It is better to tell yourself the bitter truth than live in illusion.

Here is how to tell if you are a liar and what to do about it:

1. Your feelings don’t align with your words.

This is true in cases when you feel like you are being apologetic, or telling a story, or convincing yourself that you were not wounded emotionally, but inside you feel differently than what you are acting to portray. You might be crying inside but saying you are fine. You must acknowledge these feelings which come from deep down in your heart and you must address them. Be constructive about it. Don’t be afraid to tell people that you are hurt. Lying about you is just as worst as lying about others. You will heal from the honesty.

2. The way that you act does not compare with plans to be a certain way.

If you have set a goal for yourself and you don’t work on it, it’s making false proclamations. In the most common forms, they are of losing weight, learning a different language or a new skill. You tell yourself you will do it but you end up not putting any effort to achieving it. In the end, you will feel like a failure because the perception you have of yourself in your mind is very different from the way you will actually be. For example, you may want to buy something only to look attractive to another person but, if you don’t want it for yourself, you will never put effort in buying it, or even when you do, you will not feel so good about it. This also falls under the category of lying to yourself.

3. You let out your mini theories and don’t believe in them or act on them.

You eventually become an extremist and have a fixed label on you, which raises people’s expectations from you yet you never change deep down. This is clear manipulation. You may do this if you feel threatened by people. For example, you may assume that there is no one good enough to date in a specific area. You are making an assumption and giving out your fixed opinion to people by avoiding other realities and possibilities. Deep down, you might be insecure of falling or failing at love if you find it in that place. You may feel comfort in that but, since you are acting different from what you really want, it is lying to yourself. Consider it again.

Must read: 7 Phrases People Commonly Use when they’re Lying

4. You don’t feel worthy around other people and they are always letting you down for one reason or another.

You question yourself a lot but you feel so unworthy for so long that you start feeling left out or uncomfortable. You no longer want the things you once wanted because you feel like you no longer deserve them. Nothing makes you happy anymore and you are unsure of which direction to go on. You will fake laughter just for the sake of it and go places you don’t enjoy. You may end up spending money on things out of your reach just for validation or to blend in. This is a sign of losing touch from your real self. Do things that make you come alive instead of spending energy on trying to attain validation from those around yourself.