As if like your entire body is torn apart…
Breakups are hard; there are no two ways about that. A breakup is not just the end of a relationship, but the end of a lot of dreams and ideas that were shared by two people and that is not exactly easy to get over. To let go of a person you thought you would always be with is painful, and when one goes through a break up or a divorce, it is natural to think that theirs is the most painful one for a human to experience, but one has to get over it and get on with their lives.
Following is a list of 19 things that one must do in order to move forward after a breakup.
1. Understand that it is supposed to be hard
The end of a long term relationship or a marriage is supposed to be hard, so do not beat yourself up for having a tough time. Accept that you are human and it is only natural to feel low when something like this happens.
2. Don’t overdo the self pity
Although it is perfectly okay to indulge in a limited amount of self pity, it will certainly do you more bad than good if you end up going overboard and focusing all your attention on the fact that you are sad.
3. Ask for help
The best thing to do at a time like this is to ask for help and remember that asking for help does not make you any less stronger than you are. We all need help when we are going through particularly tough times in our lives, so ask for help, be it from friends, family or professionals.
4. Let things go
Thoughts of the past and all kinds of ‘what should’ and ‘could have been done’ are barriers in your way to move on and get your life together. Let the past go and make space for new things to happen and grow.
5. Treat it like a lesson
Your relationship did not work out and it hurts. The best thing do at the moment is to think of it like a lesson. It failed and you can learn from it, analyzing what went wrong and reaching the conclusion that the relationship was a failed enterprise and it is not you who the failure is.
6. Don’t victimize yourself
It is easy and to some extent natural for us to victimize ourselves after a break up, but if one keeps doing that, they would be messing with their own healing process.
7. Let go of toxic people
There is no disagreement that your ex was probably a toxic person but it does not end there. Other people around you might be toxic too, and to smoothen and quicken your path to recovery, cut them out.
8. Accept change
Change is the only constant and after a big breakup or a divorce, there will be some pretty big changes in your life that you absolutely cannot avoid. Accept these changes and take them in your stride to keep moving forward.
9. The emotional wreckage is normal
Feeling as miserable as you are right now is normal and you are not going insane. You are dealing with a lot.
You need to relax and do things that you have always enjoyed doing and take some time for yourself, in order to just exclusively chill.
Exercising releases dopamine and helps with situational depression. Once you get moving, you’ll find a comfortable rhythm.
12. Sleep enough
Sleeping enough and having a proper sleep cycle helps you deal with a lot of your stress effectively.
13. Watch your caffeine consumption
This one is a toughie because caffeine undoubtedly has a very calming effect but it really adds to the dysfunction that is being caused in your body by the stress.
A positive attitude is all important. Be strong and develop a strong will power that will actually help you move on for good.
15. Make recovery part of your everyday life
Actively seek to recover and get better on a daily basis. Don’t keep it at bay thinking that you will get better on your own. You have to make every effort that you can.
16. Emotional intelligence
Understand your emotions and work them out. Figure out why you are feeling some feelings and that will help you get a grip over things. You will get better systematically.
17. Find your confidence
Breakups and divorces really mess with your self confidence. You need to work on yourself to build your confidence back up because you have to continue living.
18. Accept apologies you have not received
You cannot spend your life waiting for an apology to forgive someone. In order to move on in the truest essence of the word, you have to accept the apologies that you have not and might not ever receive.
19. Remember why you need to recover
Each day is a battle and sometimes you will just want to not get out of bed, but remember that you need to do this for nobody but your own self.