Self-love is a beautiful thing but sometimes, when a person crosses a limit, it turns into selfishness and even narcissism.
Narcissism, by psychological definition, is the self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.
A narcissist is someone who can never see beyond themselves and everyone and every thing fades away to irrelevance for them. Building up any kind of relation, be it friendship or companionship with such people, is a tough task because they don’t quite believe in giving and completely deny the fact that they too can be wrong.
And if they at all do accept it, it’s going to break their ego to apologize. It is quite an unlucky thing to fall in love with a narcissistic person because you might cry in front of them, but if they don’t want to care, they just won’t.
After reading this, do you have a face in front of your eyes? Do you think your partner is one of these people?
To find out if you’re dealing with a narcissist. and if they are hampering your happiness, continue reading!
1. Constant feeling of superiority
They constantly make you feel like they are above you in every aspect of life. At a certain point, they even make you feel like they are doing you a favor by loving you. And honestly, that is hurtful. They always make it look like they are better than you in every way and that sort of breaks your self confidence. None of us deserve to be treated like we are less than someone, let alone our very partner. Relationship is for two people who love and respect each other with equal intensity, and it will never survive if one of the two constantly makes it look like they are better than their partner.
2. Bad with boundaries
If relationship was a school, they’d have constantly parent complains for always breaking the rules. It’s might feel good to be a rebel but it’s not good to constantly disobey the basic relationship rules that come involuntarily. A narcissist will always break these rules and make it look like it is you who is making a huge deal about it.
3. Constant validation
We all need love and attention from someone we love but a narcissist will look for validation. They cannot stay without getting attention and not only from you but from everyone around them. They are praise hungry and want their shoulders to be patted for doing every little thing. A narcissist will lose their interest in you if you don’t constantly validate them.
4. Emotionally abusive
Some abuses don’t show up on our skin. Emotional abuse is one of such. The bruises lie deep inside due to all the mean things a narcissist says ‘just for fun’. Arguments with them are a nightmare because they don’t think twice before saying absurd things.
5. They are very seductive
This is their way of ‘apologizing’ or making situations fine. They make up for their mistakes by involving seduction in important situations.
6. Manipulation is their business
They are manipulators and they are bloody good at it. They know how to turn tables and always make it look like you are the one who is at fault. They can talk you to believing and doing anything and everything that they want.
7. Public figure
They are very conscious about their name and what people think about them. Since most of what they do is to gain attention from people around them, they make sure that everyone sees the little that they do. They fear what others think of them. They cannot take dislike for themselves. They want to please everybody.
8. They don’t take authority of their actions
They never agree that it’s their fault and will either avoid the topic or scream or cry. But they will never have a responsible response about their mistakes. They are never ready to work on their flaws because to them, they are perfect.
9. Unfit partners
They are often unsuitable partners and are not mature enough to handle and work on a relationship. According to them, the world revolves around them.
10. Your vulnerabilities are unsafe with them
You cannot be your true natural self around them. They carefully notice your vulnerabilities and use them against you when the time is right.
11. You are not their rehab
You need to know that it is not your job to fix anyone’s character flaw and damage yourself instead. Have the strength to walk away from anything and anyone that isn’t good for your head or heart.
12. They always wear a mask
They will never let you find out their vulnerabilities. They will do anything to hide their weaknesses.
13. They are the ‘know it all’ kind
They think that they have perfect knowledge about everything, always. And are never willing to listen to anyone else’s opinion or thought.