INFJs are defined as very warm and characteristically nice and kind people. They have a strong sense of purpose and want to work for the cause of humans as much as they can.
People like Nelson Mandela and Abe Lincoln were INFJs, who wanted to and did things that mattered.
Having said all of that, it is also true that sometimes INFJs take up some unhealthy habits and the following is a list of some of them:
1. Putting other people first
This is definitely an admirable quality but too much of this harms their own self, as they get tired but they do not even realize that they are being toxic to their own mental health.
2. Savior complex
INFJs have this endless need to “save” other people, even if it is at the cost of their own mental health. They excuse other people’s bad behavior by rationalizing it themselves because they make it the mission of their lives to make sure that other people are happier than them.
INFJs, when doing things, have to do it completely, and it will bother them to no end if they do not do it correctly. They will evaluate their self esteem on the basis of what they did not do correctly. This also stops them from venturing into doing new things because they are unsure of success.
4. They don’t give closure and hold grudges
When things go wrong in their personal relationships or friendships, INFJs do not attempt to resolve fights or have a conversation to mend things. They will close off immediately and make no place for compromises. If they get upset with people or feel wronged, they will not let it go and hold a grudge even if it hurts them for as long as they live.
5. No boundaries
Their boundaries are easily destroyed as they never really put up a fight when people are messing with them.
6. Can’t say No
As they do not really have particularly firm boundaries, they cannot say No. They will say yes because they are terrified of being disapproved of. They need people to like them.
7. Other’s issues over their own
Now, they are a bit of what is known as a “pushover”. If someone comes to them with their issues, they will forget all their problems no matter how pressing the issue is and start focusing on those.
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8. They don’t let anyone in
INFJs are private people in general and have great difficulty opening up to other people but this habit often lands them friendless and sad. They listen to everyone else’s problems but never tell them what they are going through because they are afraid that people will form unfavorable opinions about them.
9. They make themselves responsible for what other people are feeling
They consider it their duty to make people feel better if they are down and be happy in their happiness even if they are not in the greatest frames of mind. They think they are the reason behind other people’s suffering, which is why they set out to help other people improve their mood.
10. They use their personality type as an excuse
When called out on their unhealthy traits or behaviors, they get defensive about their personality type and go on about how they cannot change because it is how they are wired. It is not only an excuse to them, but they sincerely believe that they cannot change and will always have these toxic traits.
11. They invalidate their emotions
They do not consider their own emotions to be valid or even expect people to care about them. They detest any show of emotion and will always convince themselves that they are beyond any feelings. But secure and mature INFJs know that it is okay to feel things because ultimately, we are all humans.
12. They are passive
INFJs are known to be really chill and casual. They are not the uptight kind and do not sweat the small stuff. All of these things make them fun people to party with but an excess of this kind of behavior can lead to them becoming passive about even the important things in life, as they let other people control what they do.
Start a Better Life Right Now by Reading:
- You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
- Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change