Being in a relationship is great. But being over-possessive in a relationship is very bad. It is destructive and it gradually weakens the bond.
Every person should be given their own freedom, allowed to cherish their own individualism. Because we all were born free, without anybody to accompany us. Now when someone suddenly comes and imposes himself upon you, you feel claustrophobic, as if your freedom is being willingly snatched away.
There is always a thin line between being a protective lover and an over-possessive partner. Yet sometimes we confuse them and think that they overlap each other. From being a protective partner, we do not realize when we turn into an over-possessive one. Also, there is someone who is innocently possessive and someone who is very aggressive. Over-possessiveness can also lead to extreme physical and emotional abuse, which can destroy your togetherness completely.
Here are 12 signs to look for in your partner if he/she is being over-possessive and too interfering:
1. You have to act according to their wishes all the time
This is not logically possible. You have an individuality of your own, your own wishes, desires, your own code of behavior. You simply cannot change it for someone else. If your partner is forcing you to do so, break up with them because things can get out of the hand.
2. They always want to know about your whereabouts
You deserve your personal time too. It’s not necessary that you share your whereabouts with them always, like where you are going or whose house you are visiting. If you refrain from sharing information, they may turn aggressive on you. This shows that your partner is willing in being over-possessive and dominating.
3. They literally stalk you
Stalking your partner pushes your relationship on the path of doom. He keeps an eye on your social media account, wants to know your password, whom you are calling or which friend you are texting, read through your mails and messages too. This is unimaginably interfering. You must learn to respect your partner’s boundaries.
4. They are too dependent on you
They are very needy, always wanting your company even though you wish for some alone time. They have no sense of individuality. They cling to you every time, and as a result you’re bound to cut contacts with your friend circle. They show resentment towards your social group with the excuse of being uncomfortable with you in their presence.
5. He forces you to distance yourself from your closest pals
This is highly disagreeable. You cannot simply unfriend your closest group of people only because your partner is uncomfortable with them. They boil with jealousy whenever you are with them and you always come home to a lot of arguments and misunderstandings from your partner’s side. He unnecessarily loads you up pointing out your mistakes, even though nothing of that sort was your intention.
6. They are unwilling to give you your own personal space
This ruins the beautiful bond between you. Over-possessive partners are too interfering. They demand that you spend all your time with them, tag along with them everywhere. However, this can ruin your feelings for each other leading to lots of hatred and resentment. They impose themselves upon you; don’t give you the space to breathe and are always giving instructions and forcing their opinions as correct and reasonable.
7. They doubt you when you are with someone else
If you hang out with your own close group of friends, or some other guy or a girl, they immediately turn jealous. They become paranoid at the thought of having a breakup soon and thus try to distance you from them. They force you to accept that you are attracted to someone else when in reality you aren’t.
8. They don’t let you wear all kinds of clothes
This is very stereotypical. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may impose restrictions on your clothing and fashion standards. They may bar you from wearing certain kinds of clothes in public or when you are among a certain group of friends. They always want to control you and that is unreasonable. You should have your own freedom to wear any kind of dresses you like and love.
9. They force their own decisions on you
They interfere even in your life decisions which are important. They impose their own ideas, forcing you to put them to practice. They don’t give you your own freedom to decide things. You often feel pressured to follow his wants and wishes, his guidelines and limitations. If you refrain from doing so, he may turn emotionally violent and threatening.
10. They are manipulative
They may dominate you so strongly that you are psychologically affected. You lose your thinking power, you lose your decision making capacity. You become vulnerable. This is disturbing and harmful. They turn emotionally abusive and in this way they lower your self esteem and confidence.
11. They get away with their behavior on the excuse of love
This is not love. This hampers your physical and mental well being. Being with an over possessive partner ruins your healthy, stable mental state. Besides, they justify their toxicity by drawing the love card which immediately strikes at your weakest point and you let him get away with all his wrong behaviors.
12. He wants to speak to you all the time
They are overly concerned about you. They keep on calling you all the time to know if you have eaten or taken a shower. This is dominating and highly interfering. You don’t like to answer his calls all the time, you feel tired. They don’t allow you to go to certain places just because they want to impose upon you their final decision. This brings the relationship to a bitter end.
Must Read The Best Books about Love and Relationship:
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
- Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
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