Vaccination is better than having to get surgery done, is the rule people have always lived by. The sad part is, people do not really put that much importance to mental issues, especially heartbreak and its aftermath.
Toxic relationships have become way too common like the plague in our day, as a simple scroll-down of any one of our social media pages will show. The aftermath of these are mental illnesses like depression, anxiety and panic attacks. In worst cases, along with those, a kind of ennui that forecloses any possibility of loving again.
It is always more beneficial to find the signs that show the possibility of toxicity later in life. This would spare people a lot of pain. So, is it possible to identify toxic relationships even before they fester?
Here are ten signs that will help you.
1. Way too intense right from the beginning
This is like you look at someone and think you have found the one, immediately. They look like an answer to your prayers, something so precious that you could never have hoped to be with them.
They are pretty, popular, intelligent and or so charming that they sweep you off your feet and you fall hard.
2. They appear like an ideal
Something you have read about, prayed for, or watched in films and TV shows for years. They are just perfect.
Pro-tip: no one is perfect. No matter how hard they try. IF they do appear to be, it is probably a front; a persona that a narcissistic trickster adopts to reel you in and finally destroy you.
3. They make you neglect your friends
They berate them and criticise them so much in front of you, that you finally become numb and wanting peace, start ignoring your friends for them. Just to please them.
It is like they give you a choice: them or me.
If that is the case, it literally means they will never ever choose you if you gave them the choice.
4. Your passions are washed away
This happens because you get caught up and distracted way too much trying to please your partner to actually have a life of your own. You forget that you once liked to paint or played an instrument. It is always about their comfort and their convenience. You just feel the need to serve them, because they make you subservient.
5. You start brushing things under the carpet
It starts off with one fight but often ends up in physical violence. But, the really sinister ones do not hit you: instead, they just stop short. Because they do not want anyone else to see evidence of what they put you through.
Never brush these things under the carpet. You are not their plaything.
You will also like reading: 10 Types Of Toxic People You Should Delete Out Of Your Life Immediately
Yours do not matter, theirs, however, is etched on stone. Theirs will be done, by you, everywhere. You slowly start losing the essence of even being a human being. You feel like something being tossed, like a stick used to play fetch – only difference, the dog’s teeth make you bleed.
7. You are made uncomfortable
They will flirt with other people, right in front of you and when you confront them, they deny it so vehemently that you feel like you were mistaken. They make you feel inadequate enough to not trust your own sanity. There is even a word for this: gaslighting.
The word has already taken the world of social media by storm.
8. You start measuring time in terms of their being around
They leave you so hollow and dependent and subservient, that you simply do not have a separate existence anymore. You wait for them and wait on them and feel purposeless except when you are obeying them.
9. You start defending them
When they misbehave with you, your family, your colleagues and your friends. You never really have any notion of negativity about them. They build an image of themselves in your head, like they are some sick, sadistic god you worship.
10. You can never refuse them
They just make you do it. By subtly blackmailing you and by playing the victim. Some way or the other.
Notice these signs and fight against your oppressor. Your life is too short to be in a toxic relationship.
The featured image was taken by an incredible photographer Sean Archer