Breakups are seldom easy. Even more difficult is to hold yourself for the period immediately following a breakup.
Most people cannot just get up, dust their memories off and go ahead with their life. The grief of losing someone with whom you thought you’d spend your life with, or a considerable part of it anyway, is not easily forgotten.
However, there are certain things which might help:
1. Not keeping any hope alive
‘What ifs’ ruin your life more than helping you deal with the breakup. If you keep hoping for a solution, or think that the breakup is only temporary, you will never get over that person. Kill all hope about being with that person in any future, near or far, if you actually want to move ahead with your life.
2. Stop the internal monologue
Anytime we break up with someone, we start debate groups, all in our heads. We keep talking about alternative scenarios where things would be different, we would be different and so will be the other person. Stop doing that. It is not going to happen, so the best thing for you is to stop negotiating with yourself.
3. Take charge of everything you were dependent on them for
It is natural for couples to rely on each other for certain things, and when you break up, things that the other person used to do act as a reminder of their absence. Instead of waddling in sadness, get up and get that thing over with. Taking charge will help you realize that you don’t really need them to function and are good enough on your own.
4. Just don’t do anything even remotely related to them
If there is a particular diner you two used to frequent, find another eating joint. Don’t listen to the songs that remind you of them. Definitely control yourself from visiting their profile on different social media platforms. Just detox your life from their presence.
5. Let it all out
Don’t shy away from crying. No one is going to think that you are weak if you mourn the end of a relationship that meant something to you. Crying also helps in cleansing our psychological makeup and thus it actually makes you feel better after you’ve had a good cry. Just don’t make it a habit.
6. Don’t give up on your friends
It is natural for people who have just emerged from a recent break-up to want to be left alone. However, being around your friends, and going out with them, will help you to cheer up. It is also a much healthier option than staying home and letting your thoughts run wild.
7. Take a break for yourself before moving on with life
Most people completely and utterly immerse themselves into work in order to avoid thinking about their break-up. Avoiding it only makes its presence stronger and it is ready to jump at you at any given chance. Instead, taking a break for yourself, getting your thoughts in order first will do wonders for your recovery.
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8. Whatever you do, don’t pity yourself for too long
A little bit of self-pity is natural following a breakup. But if you never move forward from that, you are in fact endangering yourself and your mental health. If you don’t get over this phase soon, you will always blame yourself for everything and also play the victim in every situation. Neither of this attitude is a sign of a healthy mindset.
9. Keep calm and…
go on with your life. Anger and rage might be the natural reactions, but, the sooner you get over them, the better it is for your mental peace. Remaining calm will help you navigate the rest of the turbulent emotions effectively, whereas rage is just a one step way to completely disrupt your entire life.
10. Don’t forget, you will always find love again
James Blunt believes it and so should you. The concept of ‘The one’ is rather idealistic and works better for movies and books, not real life. In life you will get a chance at love again, so don’t overthink things.
Breakups are hard. And you will have to be your own champion. Take care of these little things and you should be fine.
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