Being in a one-sided relationship can be painful. It is important to be frank with yourself if you feel like you’re in love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate. The person might say they love you but the signs showing that something is lacking aren’t that hard to miss. Not to say that they don’t care about you at all, but emotions can be misleading and an infatuation or just a deep liking is often mistaken for ‘love’. Love might develop over time, but if you don’t feel it sprouting and things changing, maybe it’s not worth holding on to.
Despite everything Hollywood and every romantic comedy you’ve ever seen suggests, love isn’t just about the fluttering butterflies and the romance. As any couple who has been past the honeymoon phase will agree, love is more than that. It requires commitment and a sense of duty, being there for your beloved at the best and worst of times, making their presence and support felt when it counts.
Watch out for these signs if you feel like the love you’re looking for isn’t here:
1. They do not prioritize your relationship
Making a relationship work requires adjustment on both sides. Both partners need to make room for integrating their relationship into their lives, and find time to invest into it. If your partner is serious about your relationship, they’ll clear space and adjust the other aspects of their lives to devote a healthy amount of time towards you. Don’t be too hasty in your judgment though. You might want to try sitting down with your partner and try to sort it out with them.
2. There is an imbalance in effort
If you feel like you’re trying too hard (i.e. holding on for the both of you) to make the relationship work, you might want to rethink your relationship. Someone who really loves you and takes your relationship seriously will make an effort to keep your bond intact. There will be a communication of feelings that will help your love grow and flourish.
3. They haven’t introduced you to their friends
If someone truly loves you, they will want to introduce you to the people they are close to. They will want to show you off to their friends and family, which is concrete proof of their devotion to the relationship. If it has been quite a while you’ve been dating someone and yet you have not been introduced to any of their friends, maybe they are not that convinced about their emotions towards you.
4. The use of “I” instead of “We”
If your partner never seems to include you in their plans, it might not be a very positive sign. If someone is really into you, they will be enthusiastic about including you in plans that mean a lot to them, be it their best friend’s birthday or a camping trip or a plus one family function. They want you to feel like you are a part of their lives and they will not be afraid of thinking ahead, beyond the future that’s just around the corner.
You must take into account that some people need more time than others to open up, even to people they love and appreciate. But if it has been long and if you still feel like you’re alone in the relationship, it might be something you need to re-analyze. Letting go can be hard, but sometime it hurts less than it does if you go in too deep and invest too much of your hopes, feelings and expectations into something that is not going to work.