Off The Record

Stepmom Fat Shames 6yo Girl On Birthday, Refuses To Give Her A Cake

Published on May 8, 2024

Online, a mother is receiving harsh criticism for fat-shaming her stepdaughter, whom she coerced into forgoing cake on her sixth birthday in favour of making “healthy choices.”

The mom, who controls food intake in her home, claims that she is attempting to instill healthy habits in the “overweight” girl who “eats like garbage.” However, the stepmother is referred to as “self-righteous” by the internet community, which also fears the youngster would eventually acquire an eating issue.

A woman described a circumstance involving her husband’s six-year-old kid on the “Am I the A******“ subreddit approximately a year ago.

Giving some backstory, the 34-year-old health-conscious mother states that she married a 40-year-old man and had two boys, ages eight and ten, from a previous marriage.

She also became Gwen’s stepmother. The little girl lives with her biological mother, whose “blood type is probably ketchup,” most of the time, and spends two weekends a month with her blended family. “Similarly, Gwen is about 20lb heavier than a six-year-old girl is supposed to be.”

“We are a healthful household, and we teach moderation and controlling how much we take when we have treats. We are also very active, and every day strive to get the boys moving,” the woman writes.

Additionally, she says, “I try to teach Gwen about healthy eating and moving around. We have the boys play with her so she’s getting active.”

She makes it clear that teaching children to “make a distinction between foods that are healthy and ones that aren’t” is a key component of good eating.

“When I see one of the kids reaching for a ‘treat’ food in the pantry I’ll ask, ‘would you like to make a healthier choice?’ And Gwen is really getting it, she’s always going for better choices now and is also asking for fruit at home which is really good.”

But in addition to the food shaming, Redditors were furious over her parenting approach.

“Good idea: providing healthy meals for the kid, and she’s happily eating them. Bad idea: following them into the pantry and shaming them into picking something they don’t want to appease you,” writes one.

Another says that the child isn’t old enough to “distinguish,” stating that “At this age they don’t understand the concept of calories nor should they. It’s a parent’s job to provide healthy food, not a child’s job to ‘choose it.’ All you’re giving this child from this is anxiety related to eating.”

A miserable birthday

Unfortunately, Gwen’s birthday fell during a weekend that she spent with her father. Rather than setting out cake, the OP once more encouraged the youngster to pick a “healthier choice.”

“My reasoning is unfortunately she’s still getting all that garbage at home, and it’s just not good for a growing girl. She agreed and we decided to have some low-fat ice cream so she can still have a sweet treat. It’s a brand Gwen loves and asks for every time she’s here, so she was happy with it.”

However, the OP got a call after the weekend ended and the youngster went back to her mother’s house.

“Her mom called us furious; she said then when Gwen got home and she asked about her birthday with us and her cake, Gwen started crying because she really did want cake but didn’t want to ‘make a bad choice.’ She accused me of fat shaming her and her daughter and that I owe her a cake and a big apology.”

“Creating eating disorders”

Prior to inquiring, “AITA for not having cake for her birthday?” on Reddit, The mother defends her choice to not wish Gwen a happy birthday.

She says, “I’m just looking out for the health of a child in my care, but I never said Gwen couldn’t have cake and she could have had one if she said she wanted one. I suggested sticking to ice cream because I care.”

The vast majority of internet users concurred that “YTA.”

“She’s five. Give the kid goddamn cake on her birthday and then go for a family walk after,” snips one Redditor.

Also FYI, the good choice/ bad choice talk is just going to give her body image issues for the rest of her life.”

“The fact that the kid LIED and was afraid, didn’t want to say how she really felt, and what she really wanted for her own damn birthday, says a lot more is going on between these lines OP has written,” adds someone another, who implies that the girl made up her desire for cake out of fear.

A third writes, “As someone with an eating disorder, this is how you give kids eating disorders.”

One person claims that the stepmother has a superiority complex. They claim that the author is “too stuck up [on] her own self-righteousness to realise she’s creating eating disorders in everyone around her.”

On their birthday, everyone should be able to enjoy cake without feeling guilty!