An insecure person is someone who is not confident about himself and keeps doubting himself. It may not sound much, but if you are in a relationship with an insecure person, then you might find it really hard to not be sad or depressed. Such a relationship is a toxic one and it’s best if you come out of it.
However, there are a lot of insecure men out there and they can mask their insecurity well. So, if you are with a man, then look out for these signs which are an indication of some form of insecurity:
1. No friends
An insecure man will not have any friends. They do not have any hobby or healthy lifestyle goals like going to the gym. As a result, it is easy for them to obsess over you. Whenever you are absent, they are thinking about you and trying to find ways to spend more time with you.
2. Asking About Your Ex
Since they have no self-belief, they are always thinking about your ex as well. They will ask about your ex again and again and try to determine if you have really gotten over them. Their insecurity will be at an all-time high. He won’t be able to see any reason when you are talking about your ex and telling you have left them in the past.
3. I Love You
It should take some amount of time before someone says that they are in love with you. However, an insecure person would reveal that they love you really fast – maybe even on your second date. While you might feel like you are on cloud 9, this might mean that your lover is insecure and rushing into things.
4. You Are Everything
When both of you are in love, your lover repeatedly mentions that his world circles around yours. It might seem romantic but it’s a huge responsibility. If anything happens down the road, his world will fall apart. And that is something that will really break him. Complete dependence is closer to obsession and that is not healthy.
5. Validation Alert
Since insecure people lack confidence and do not have any belief in their work, they will be fishing for all kinds of praise. So, they would ask you if you love them again and again since they do not really believe in it and are always looking for some kind of reassurance. Appreciation is fine but when you are really asking for it repeatedly, you might be dealing with some internal insecurity.
They don’t really like it when you spend time with your friends. They don’t want you to go out to shop with your girlfriends and if you happen to have a good friendship with any man, then he’s going to completely lose his mind. While at first this possessiveness may feel like protectiveness, it might upset your friends and put you in a bad mood too.
7. Breaking Up
He likes to test the relationship and his way of testing is to bring up threats of a breakup. He would say that he doesn’t think that you like him or that you want to continue with the relationship. He wants to see you put in a lot of effort to make him believe that you love him and want the relationship to last longer.
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8. Talking about his exes
He loves to talk about his exes and put them in the negative light all the time. His exes were demons who were just trying to use him and then, they went about cheating on him. He was always the victim. This victim mentality is what points out his insecure self. You would probably be sympathetic and think that you are not going to be the same. But do you have any idea as to whether his stories are true or not?
This is a special trait. Insecure people will spend a lot of their times stalking you on your social media or Instagram. They want to know what you are doing there and whom you are interacting with. Plus, they might even get a bit upset if you post something without their consent.
10. Checking Your Phone
As a way to keep tabs on you, he may start checking your phone. When you are texting someone, he would look from behind and check what you are messaging. If you are on the computer, then he will be lingering on the back and watching you as you prepare emails.
11. Too Much Attention
He loves attention and would love to bestow all kinds of lavish gifts on you. He’s giving you all the love and attention to a point that you might even become suffocated by it. But start questioning: Is he giving you so much to make sure that you don’t leave him?
12. Being Unfaithful
They are always suspecting you of something. They think that you may cheat on them and so, they may accuse you of many things like flirting with your co-worker or the waiter. It’s not like they don’t trust you – it’s just that your lover is afraid that they are not good enough for you.
13. Not Being With Him
He will always text you or call you within moments of leaving. They are over-attentive and don’t want to spend time alone. He wants to see you all the time and doesn’t really care what you might be doing. While at first the attention might seem sweet, you have to understand that it has a lot to do with his insecure self.
His mood depends a lot on what you are doing. If you are with him and paying attention to him, then he becomes really happy. But if you are doing a lot of things and not using all your attention to care for him, then he might become sad or even angry at you.
We are all filled with flaws and we want people to overlook them. But sometimes, constructive criticism is helpful as it can help us grow. However, for insecure men, even the smallest criticism can turn out to be a huge problem. They would not take it happily. Criticism would debilitate them rather than help them grow.
Being in a relationship with an insecure man is really difficult and you will have to let them go if it becomes too much for you. Don’t feel guilty about it. It’s for the best.
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