Life is never monotonous. Not every day is the same. We all have our ups and downs. Where there are happy times, there is also a time when life knocks you down so hard that you find it impossible to get back up.
It may be that you didn’t get the job you have been working so hard for. It may be that the love of your life betrayed you. It may be that you just had a major fight with your best friend. It may be that you lost someone very close to you to death. It may be all of these things.
Life can fall apart in so many ways. The intensity with which traumas hit us may vary but we all know what it feels like when nothing is falling into place. You feel like giving up, leaving everything behind and start fresh – but it isn’t the solution. Here’s how you can rebuild your life when it falls apart.
1. Let those feelings sink in
You know what I think? I think its self-infliction when we run from feeling the turmoil raging within us. I think we do injustice to ourselves when we lock those feelings and avoid acknowledging them. It isn’t a way out. You won’t stop feeling if you try not to feel. The feelings of hurt, pain and agony are still there. In fact, the more you ignore them, the more they will get the better of you. It will be excruciating to allow those feelings to be felt but you need to. You need to embrace those feelings, scream to the capacity of your lungs, cry till you can shed no more tears but acknowledge what you are feeling. It is the only way you can free yourself from that terrible pain.
2. Opt for a new mindset
After you have acknowledged your feelings, you need to adopt a new mindset. You can’t let yourself live in the same mental state. It becomes an inescapable prison. You start living in an unending vicious cycle of misery. It’s why it is crucial you change your thinking. You need to let yourself move forward. You can’t let your pain control you – you need to control it. You know how you feel and you know you don’t want to feel that way. Make your way through that pain. Let that pain be your guide to your salvation. Yes, it will ask for a lot of you. It will be hard. Keep moving on.
3. Do something new for yourself
The times of misery are gone. You have embraced your feelings and chosen a new mindset. Now, act on the new mindset and look for something refreshing, something which will make you happy and stir excitement in your life. Recall all the things you wanted to do but couldn’t get yourself to do them. Make a list and follow it. A little change of environment, hobbies or even people around you will make a huge difference. New stuff brings happiness. They bring positivity. Step out of your comfort zone and allow yourself to heal.
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4. Show yourself some kindness
It all starts with you. When your life falls apart, it is you who needs the most care. Unfortunately, we are the only ones always available for ourselves. We have to look after our own. Yes, there will be your friends and family but nobody can love you as you can love yourself. Invest in self-love and self-care. It will allow you to grow and heal. You will be struggling but you will struggle with grace. Change can be overwhelming but it will be for the better. Be true to yourself and start showing yourself some extra love.
5. Practice gratitude
Sure, your life is messed up. Sure, all you see is darkness. Sure, your life seems bleak. Sure, you see no hope. Sure, it’s all too much of a burden. Yet, you survived. Yet, you lived through so many wonderful times. Yet, there’s still so much you have to live for. We, humans, always find a reason to pinpoint the lacking but we fail to acknowledge what is present. You will only learn to appreciate what you have when you don’t have it. Try being thankful for everything that is still there. Be thankful you still live. Gratitude can do wonders. It will allow you to feel better. It will make your life seem better. Recollect the memories of all the good times you spent and be thankful for them. You will see how wonderfully well it works.
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