Off The Record
Brother Wants to Adopt His Little Sister After Dad’s Death, Finds Out His Wife Is against It
The details of a man’s internal struggle over whether or not to take care of his younger sister were revealed in a post that was twice removed from Reddit.
The OP wanted to help his wife out as much as he could, but she had other ideas.
The OP and his wife had been married for two years when the OP’s father passed suddenly, leaving his sister without anyone to care for her.
Because his sister is so much younger than him, the OP acts more like a parent than an older brother.
The OP’s younger sister was eleven years old when their father left for his trip.
The OP and his wife did not have any children and had no plans to start a family anytime soon. Since they didn’t want children, this was a problem.
After suffering a devastating loss, the OP and his loved ones were presented with difficult decisions. Unfortunately, the decisions we made led to friction that we hadn’t bargained for. According to the OP:
“My father passed away from pancreatic cancer. There are 2 options for my sister: either I take her in or my uncle [dad’s brother]. So we asked her who she wanted, and she chose me. Here is the problem: My wife and I decided that we did not want kids.”
They both felt that it was a significant decision and that the girl should be allowed a say in where she would like to make her home. The kid chose to stay with the OP and his wife.
The OP’s wife did not want children, and she made it obvious that if they took in his sister, they would have a child.
The woman claimed that she and her husband shouldn’t adopt the child because her uncle had already done so.
Since his sister had expressed a desire to remain with their uncle, and since he was concerned about her adjusting to life without their parents after their father’s death, the OP claimed that he would not push her to do so.
The decision greatly dissatisfied both the OP and his wife. But soon the OP told his wife that he was going to let his sister stay with them, whether she liked it or not. If she continued to reject him, he said, they would end up divorcing. After that, there was a long period of silence between them.
In a subsequent update, the OP said that he and his wife had reconsidered their decision to divorce. Furthermore, he remarked
“She said you really are choosing your sister over me.”
The OP reassured his wife that her interpretation of the situation was correct and that he had no interest in further discussing the topic.
He elaborated that caring for his sister was his current priority.
That was the final exchange between the OP and his wife.
Also, “I have been staying with my sister for a week now,” he added. It’s tough being a father figure to my younger siblings, but I’m loving it.
Many commenters on the original article felt that the OP had done the right thing by his sister and that his wife was being insensitive by refusing to take in a homeless teen.
If any of the thread’s readers were parents, they would do well to have a will in place designating a guardian for their children in the event of their untimely passing.
According to another person’s account, their half-sister took them back to their childhood home after their parents died, but it was obvious that they weren’t wanted there.
At the age of 15, the person ran away, but neither their half-sister nor her spouse paid any attention to their disappearance.
This user thinks that the OP and his wife should have divorced because his sister would have noticed any hostility against her if she had stayed in the household.
Another person who does not have children said that it would have been a deal breaker for them as well.
Some people backed the OP’s wife, saying she knew her limits and couldn’t handle caring for a child going through such extreme trauma.
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Someone else chimed in and said that the OP’s wife would be forced into the position of mother if she helped raise his sister even if she didn’t want to.
Another poster said that they would normally side with the wife, but in this case they couldn’t since they felt the wife had been unfair to the OP and his sister by making the accusation that he preferred her to her.
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