We have all been taught to be nice to others. It will help us make friends and have major karmic benefits coming our way. But it’s not an ideal world. Nice people are not always rewarded for their actions. Rather they might be punished for it and find their niceness turn into a curse.
The problem is, you can’t be ‘too nice’. Being excessively nice will land you into problems. If you have been too nice, you may have faced some of these issues:
1. You have been taken advantage of
Niceties are needed in difficult environments, but sometimes, when you are in a competitive atmosphere, you just can’t be too nice. Others are there to compete with you, and you have to fight. They might even manipulate you to keep you behind. Don’t let them take advantage of you. Know your surroundings and act accordingly.
2. Your boundaries are not respected
Being nice, you don’t say much to other people. They interpret this as an invitation to walk all over you. They will try to push boundaries just to test how much you can take. Often, if you do break, they’ll say it was a misunderstanding and confuse you. Sometimes it could be so, but use your logic to find out when you are being manipulated.
3. People don’t care
Not all people are empathetic. Some would do anything to get what they want. They don’t care about others. They are selfish and they’re probably not even aware of that. It might come naturally to them, or they are no longer nice. You need to be assertive. Express your need. While you may not have the desire to come across as mean, rude, or unkind, you should not be treated poorly either. Create an uproar if you need to.
4. Missing out on treating yourself
Nice people tend to invest a lot of time and resources on other people. They don’t like it when people are upset and, in the end, they start helping them. The problem is they give away too much of their resources that way. Not everybody deserves your niceness. The most important person that needs it is YOU.
5. People will have trust issues around you
Very few people are nice and we become skeptical about nice people. We believe they must have an ulterior motive. Many people view unwarranted niceness as suspicious behavior. Don’t let it bother you. You can’t blame them. Voice your opinion and be patient. They will surely respond to your niceness one day.
6. Your perception might be distorted
We all need to be with the right group. It’s best if nice people are surrounded by kind friends. They promise security. But sometimes, they end up being complacent and start helping those who don’t appreciate their help. You end up getting hurt. Sometimes, you need to look out for yourself too. Be selfish if you have to.
You will also like reading: 6 Signs A ‘Nice’ Person Secretly Has Negative Intentions
7. Resentment comes in
Being resentful is terrible. It ruins friendship and relationships, and brings trust issues into play. But nice people end up with resentment soon. Can you blame them? If you help your friend out of the puddle and then don’t find them anywhere when you need them, resentment will seep in for sure. Sometimes, when we put in kindness, we should make sure we don’t get depleted of it.
8. Apologizing for nothing
People who are nice don’t like people getting upset. So, even if it’s not their fault, they may end up apologizing just to make others happy. Problem is, apologies mean an acceptance of guilt. By apologizing, they take responsibility for others without having any part to play in it. They must make it clear that they are not apologizing for their fault. It’s bravery to accept responsibility for your own choices and actions, but if it’s someone else’s, don’t say ‘I’m sorry’.
9. Too much responsibility
When you are too nice, you have difficulty saying ‘No’. You don’t like to see others getting upset. The downside is, people would swamp you with too much work that you can’t possibly take up. Since you compromise a lot, they take advantage. So, start saying ‘NO’. You don’t need to justify yourself in needless situations. A powerful ‘NO’ is enough.
10. You attract toxic people
Toxic people use their power over others. Nice people become their favorite targets. Manipulators and narcissists get easily attracted to you as you don’t establish boundaries or ask the right questions. You bend over backwards for them and they like to exercise that power. To figure out if you are being used, start observing them and mark their inconsistencies. Don’t let niceness cloud your logic.
It’s an amazing quality to be nice but being too nice can be harmful. Life is about balance. Be mindful and a bit selfish if you need to. Make sure that you are preserving the sanctity of your personal space. But never give up on your niceness.