Off The Record
Mother Cradles Her Deceased Child In Her Arms, Her Husband Whispers Words She Will Never Forget
One of the most agonizing and devastating experiences a person may go through is miscarriage. It evokes emotions of melancholy, deep sorrow, and occasionally remorse.
As the mind tries to accept the heartbreaking news of a change in circumstances, many parents experience shock and bewilderment upon learning of the miscarriage.
Suddenly, it seems as though every dream has been broken like a piece of glass.
The problem is made more challenging by the presence of anxiety for future pregnancies.
Unfortunately, a great number of couples have experienced this terrible event, and while each person copes with the loss differently, the agony is nearly always the same and rarely goes away.
After welcoming a boy into their lives, Whitney Quinton and her husband Brett always hoped to have more kids. Unfortunately, Whitney had health problems, including endometriosis, for which she had surgery, and she had trouble getting pregnant again.
After some years, and a miscarriage, she did learn she was carrying a baby and only hoped for the best.
For the first few weeks, everything appeared to be as usual. However, Whitney waited far longer than normal for the scans one day at a routine checkup, which was the first indication that something wasn’t right.
“I started getting worked up while we waited and my husband tried to reassure me it would be okay,” she explained to Love What Matters.
“My mind was going a thousand miles a minute thinking about all of the things she could have and how scared I was.”
The ensuing news was terrible. Their daughter’s long bones were not growing, her kidney was gone, and her heart was in a different place. Her limbs also had serious anomalies, according to the scans.
“[The radiologist] then stated in very direct terms, ‘You can terminate this pregnancy in the next three weeks if you are unable to handle this,’” Whitney wrote.
“I let out a scream I didn’t even know I was capable of. I fell to my knees and kept screaming and I immediately had sheets of tears streaming down my face. My husband continued to rub my back while he too wept.”
The following two weeks were extremely difficult, both physically and emotionally. She and her husband were tired and heartbroken.
Whitney was put through a lot of tests, all of which indicated that their daughter would have a very poor quality of life if she survived.
“Day and night, my husband and I cried. We felt like we had nothing left to give. Selfishly, we wanted her.”
“To us, she was perfect even though there were so many complications with her health. It didn’t matter to us. But as parents, you learn that it’s not about what’s best for you; it’s about what’s best for her and what she would want.”
They turned to God and prayed all the time, hoping to be given some clarity about the decision they were about to make.
“Two days later, we agreed that neither she nor I needed to suffer for one more minute. The induction was scheduled for a few days later, and the evening came for me to take the medication to induce labour. I would be delivering her the next day.”
“I had blurred vision and was so gravely ill that I told Brett I loved him many times in case I died, I was supposed to attend my work party the night before as I thought it would be better to have a distraction instead of sobbing all evening. The time came to leave and my health turned a corner.”
As was to be expected, Whitney’s delivery experience was traumatic and agonizing.
“I woke up and the nurse came to check on me. In my sleep, our daughter, Ruby-Jo, had arrived,” she wrote.
“The doctor came in to pick up her tiny, 1- pound, lifeless body and I went into complete shock.”
She was overcome with intense anguish, rage, and guilt at that precise time.
In the midst of her heartbreak, her husband whispered words she would never forget.
“Whits, it’s okay. You did it,” he told her. “She’s finally home and she’s perfect. She’s with our family in Heaven, and she’s not in pain anymore. I am so proud of you.”
“Not a day has gone by that I don’t think about the words my husband said to me that day,” Whitney wrote. “He saved me then, and his words continue to save me daily when I fight demons with the Earth-shattering decision we had to make for her.”
“She is sealed to our family and, someday in Heaven, we will all be reunited,” Whitney wrote.
“I will embrace her and I know she will thank us for relieving her of all of her suffering. We will thank her for teaching us how to turn to God, to have more compassion, and be there for others during tragedies to lift them up.”
We sincerely apologize for all that this family had to endure.
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