Relationships are difficult things to handle as it is, but people still keep at them because hey, it’s one life, you only have one shot – and who doesn’t want to spend this journey with someone who gives them peace, love, affection and care?
However, not all love-stories are beds-of-roses and sometimes you just fall for people who are evil – whether they know it or do it intentionally or not. These perpetrators can wreck your mental health and life and scar you irretrievably. God forbid you should ever cross paths with these two types. And what types are these?
Answer: Narcissists and sociopaths.
Where sociopaths are safer in the sense that their behavior will seem odd to you right from the beginning, narcissists are not. They design their lifestyle in such a way that makes them come out as highly attractive, charming people who make everything better. In reality, they feed off your peace of mind – thriving on how much they can put you down. This is all part of their grand scheme of self-worship.
They need to be fuelled by emotionally manipulating unsuspecting individuals into worshipping them. This they achieve through various kinds of behavioural patterns.
Note: We are talking about the “grandiose” type of narcissism and not the “vulnerability” type.
Here are 7 kinds of patterns that narcissists follow in their game of putting people down.
1. The “Gaslighting”
This is classic narcissist partner behavior. This is what is proverbially called “turning the day into night in the wink of an eye.” Illustrating via an example: Suppose you call your partner on something. Say, you come back from a party and tell them how it wasn’t in good taste how they behaved with your colleagues. If you have a narcissist for a partner, they would turn the situation totally around and accuse you of being insane as they do not remember acting weird with your colleagues at all. This will go on gradually until you actually think you have lost it.
2. The Pull-Back
For grandiose narcissists, their images are everything for them. So be it compliments, praise or criticism and hate, you will see them craving it. They are the people you will find on those online platforms which enable you to give anonymous feedback to people; they simple crave attention and validation. So once you have wrested yourself from one of their kin’s grip, they will still try to provoke you in some way, in order to get a reaction from you. It might range from calling you and crying, to calling you and dissing you to simply talking smack behind your back.
Ironically enough, when it comes to listening, narcissists are the worst. They simply cannot process the fact that sometimes you must give to take something back. As soon as they have wrecked you enough to not being able to use you anymore, they will abandon you. It will be sudden and brutal; more often than not, they will cheat on you and/or humiliate you in front of people they shouldn’t be doing it. They won’t stop until they destroy you.
4. The chameleon
Heard of the Machiavellian villain? The one that will go to any length to take what he wants and get the hell out? Narcissists exhibit textbook Machiavellian characteristics and they too will go to immense lengths to keep you in their web of manipulation. As long as they have a victim to feed off of, they are fine with life.
5. The pity-seeker
This is something we have all seen: that one guy who always says he has had the worst life ever and tries to manipulate women on the basis of that. Pity is quite the strong emotion as it is pretty close to empathy. You want to help the other person out, but what if that other person just wears their scar like a battle tattoo and uses it to make sure you lose out, every single time?
Not worth it.
6. The sniffing out
Ever remember how nice, polite, naive and whole you were before this destructive relationship of yours? Well that’s probably because you are in love with a narcissist who sniffed you out as someone nice, helpful and consequently emotionally weak and gullible. They are emotionally predatory, if there is a thing like that, to the truest sense of the term.
7. The intense one
They will absolutely shower you with love and affection. So much so, that it will overwhelm you into a mental state when you believe them to be the kindest and most loving person you have ever met in your life. But remember it is a trap.
Top 3 Books about Narcissits you Must Read:
- Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People
- Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism
- Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers