“The toxic behaviors were there before you decided to enter into relationships with them. The signs were there. You may have chosen to look the other way, but the signs were there.” —Psychotherapist from Type 1 Sociopath
Sometimes in the course of the trials and errors that we collectively call life, we come across people who are well to put it kindly, bad.
They are abusive and kind of like succubus who suck the life out of you physically, or mentally, but in the case of romantic relationships, it is almost always emotionally. They leave you a hollow shell of your former self and the scars often do not heal.
The only thing you can do when you are with someone like this (a psychopath) is to immediately leave them. And you can’t if you don’t recognise them for who they really are
This list of five things might help you recognise the signs while there is still time to mend yourself and run.
1. He will make you think everything is your fault
These people aren’t always outright mean, even though they are quite often.
They will slip things into conversations that will bury the hatchet (assuming you are in a fight) momentarily, and at the same time they incriminate you for whatever happened.
And you wouldn’t even notice. Instead, you would just be happy that the fight stopped. But rest assured they will make sure you are reminded the next time something else comes up that creates a conflict between you two.
Slowly but surely you will start believing it.
In the end this is one of the reasons you lose your self-respect over.
2. He will gaslight you
This is a classic psychopathic mechanism.
When you confront them about something, they will be on the aggressive, attacking you with the very popular “don’t you trust me” routine. They will also make you believe you misread the evidence and that “you are too emotional all the time” or “you are jealous even though there is nothing to be jealous about”.
They will through insistence, invariably at one point make you question your own suspicions. In laymen’s terms, they will create the image that you are the delusional one, blindly accusing them of crimes they haven’t committed.
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3. Everything is your fault
Might look similar to point #1 but bear with us.
They have a tendency to blame everything on others. And since you being the partner who is always around, you are just the scapegoat.
Bad day at work? It’s your fault for stressing him out at home too.
In trouble with the law? You got him heated up which is why he did what he did.
He has trouble sleeping? Of course you are someone who hogs up more bed space making him uncomfortable.
You get the idea.
They will project the image in a way that they are absolutely perfect and too good for the world in general which treats them unfairly.
And you are just an aim for the world; taking the blows.
4. He takes you apart, piece by piece
Because they don’t have much going for them, they will try and manipulate your very thoughts because if they don’t and you start thinking for yourself, you might just realise that they are evil and not worth your love and time.
You know what they say about lies being repeated again and again to become truths: they will subtly and unsubtly convince you that you are useless, pathetic, over-emotional and just plain stupid. That they are the ones doing you a favour by being with you.
Once you start believing this, you will invariably lose the little shreds of self-respect you had left. That will compel you to look up to them for validation and they will tax you heavily for it.
5. They will isolate you
Along with thoughts, they will try and isolate you from your friends and peers till you don’t see anyone but them and just them.
They will also do this because there is a possibility that your friends will point out what you have gotten yourself into.
Look out for these signs and you might just make it out.