When we are in a relationship, especially a long one, we lose sight of the fact that it might not be exactly a happy one. Since we have been with this person for a long time, being with them becomes a habit, rather than a fulfilling companionship. There is more bitterness between you two rather than love and you forget to put yourself first.
However, you are so tangled in this relationship that it seems easier to deal with the arguments and fights than losing the person completely.
It is okay to distance yourself from a poisonous relationship. It is important to think about your mental and emotional stability and let go of this attachment that only causes you harm. Initially, it might seem impossible but with time you will realize that it was an important step you just had to take for your own sake.
1. Passive aggression
In a healthy relationship, it is important to deal with problems directly rather than keeping it bottled up and just seething with anger within. Not confronting the elephant in the room, and just passing harsh and snarky comments all the time shows that you two are not good together anymore.
2. Jealousy and the blame game
Extreme jealousy and possessiveness is a huge problem. If you don’t trust each other then there is no point in being together.
3. Criticism and contempt
Honest criticism is always appreciated. It helps people in becoming better. We expect constructive criticism from our partners. However to criticize your partner in order to put them down or ridicule them is not justified. A relationship without respect is done for.
4. Arguing without communicating
Arguments are normal in relationships but to only yell at each other without trying to sort out the problems is surely putting the relationship in jeopardy.
5. Negative energy
The more you deal with the negativity of the relationship, the more stressful and bitter the experience becomes. There is no need to put yourself through that. If you fail to be comfortable around your lover, then the relationship has already failed.
6. Avoiding each other
If the idea of being around your partner sickens you and makes you worry then it’s time to end things.
7. You’re not yourself
Mostly when people get into a relationship, they change as a person because of the other’s influence. However that change is also positive and appreciated. However in a toxic relationship, the changes are not desirable and they will make you feel detached from your true self. You hide under a shell, protecting the real you.
8. Feeling like there’s no point
If the relationship doesn’t give you any happiness or satisfaction then there is really no point in wasting time on it. Unless you genuinely want to be with this person, then leave before it’s too late.
9. You only think about making him or her happy
It is good to be considerate of your partner’s feelings and happiness, but to sacrifice your desires all the time is not okay. You should not lose sight of your own needs just to satisfy your partner. That is not the reflection of a healthy relationship. If your partner doesn’t try to make you feel good too, then it is useless!
10. You can’t seem to do anything right
If your partner seems to have an issue with everything you do and constantly complains and nags about your shortcomings, then it is not right. There is something that your partner is not happy with but if they can’t share it with you then you two are not compatible.
11. Growth and change are seen as negatives
Relationships undergo change. They can’t always be in honeymoon phase; the initial sizzling chemistry will gradually die down. However that doesn’t mean the relationship can’t become a happy one. But often partners complain that things aren’t the way they used to be and it shows they aren’t ready to take the next step.
12. Reminiscing on the beginning instead of looking toward the future
Same as the previous one, if your partner constantly harps on how good and romantic things were before, it means they can’t seem to move forward. They haven’t reached that level of maturity that you have and therefore both of you want different things from the relationship.
13. You’re just not happy anymore
A relationship should make you happy. The simple idea of lazing around with your partner and watching T.V, or sleeping and cuddling, or just talking to them for hours should fill you with a sense of immense satisfaction. But if being with your partner doesn’t make you happy anymore then it’s really worthless.
The Best 3 Books about Love and Relationship You Must Read:
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
- Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex