A relationship is much more than two people together doing things that are fun.
Relationships come with a ton of complications and complexities too. If you are going through a string of bad relationships which always end in a mess and leave you thinking about why you always choose the people who hurt you, it might be time to take a moment and think.
If this keeps on happening to you, you might be the problem.
Sometimes, one does not realize that they are the one causing difficulties. Following is a list of signs that you might be the source of toxicity in a relationship.
And if you do recognize yourself in this article, that doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. Just talk to your partner and say that you have come to a realization and that you apologize for behaving in such way.
1. Being controlling
Being bossy and being controlling are two terms that are often used together as if they are the same thing but, in reality, they are very far from each other. There is a certain line that has to be drawn. When you are controlling, you are constantly trying to gain power over another person which is as toxic as it gets.
2. Always wanting things your way
It is absolutely okay to want your way sometimes in a relationship but sometimes it gets to a point of manipulation and that is one of the most toxic thing that you can do. There is another person involved, and you must respect their wishes in a relationship as well. You can’t only care about the things that you want and it isn’t fair to only do things to get your way and no other way at all. Compromise is very important in a relationship!
3. Not respecting their privacy
We are all guilty of snooping around our partner’s phones sometimes but if it gets to a point of not respecting their privacy, like going through their email or text on a daily basis, it gets problematic. If you have any concerns, talk to them, but in no way it is okay to invade their privacy!
4. Changing them as a person
This must not be confused with you wanting your partner to do something, but then wanting them to change completely, as a person, just to suit your ways is a very toxic thing to do.
5. Only your needs matter
When you are with someone, it is your duty to remember their needs and realize that those needs are as important as yours. When only your needs matter, you are being toxic in the truest sense of the word.
6. Emotional withholding
When your partner is going through a rough patch and needs some tender lovin’, if you are knowingly withholding the affection from them, you are being toxic. A relationship is based on mutual love and affection, and if you are intentionally holding it back, you are being extremely toxic.
7. Telling them how to feel
You have no right or place to tell your partner how they should feel about something according to your convenience. This is a very subtle and internal way of gaslighting. You are being extremely toxic when you are constantly invalidating your partner’s feelings and emotions. It is not up to you to decide what and how they should feel.
8. Emotional manipulation
If you release the waterworks the moment you feel like things are not panning out the way you want, you are not being emotional, but extremely manipulative. If you guilt trip your partner into doing or not doing things you want, you are being toxic and making them feel like they are.
9. Emotional and physical abuse
It is unacceptable to hit your partner under any circumstances. It is the most prominent form of toxicity. Abuse can be emotional too, and hence, it is not okay to hurl whatever at your partner because you must remember that they are as human as you are.
10. They are constantly scared of upsetting you
If your partner ever says that they are always scared of upsetting you because you never know how you will be reacting to certain things on certain days and they always have to gauge your mood to make sure there are no outbursts, you are being extremely toxic and harmful.