Have you come across someone who’s cunning, manipulative, narcissistic, and/or abusive?
Think carefully and. if your answer happens to be a ‘no’, it might be because that person has possibly been holding a facade around you. And if you still think you’ve never encountered anyone with this kind of an attitude, then you are probably naive and it’s going to be rather difficult for you to detect such personality types.
People with this type of behavior pattern have a very charming presence and embrace you with manipulation. Subsequently, you start losing your basic instincts to distinguish between love and control. They’ll lie to you, demean you or even abuse you. And while all this is happening to you, you’ll be convinced that it’s your overreaction and hysteria that’s making them react in this manner.
These abusers can be anyone, be it your spouse or your supervisor, your lover or your colleague. If you’re within their emotional reach, they’ll try to take control of you and influence you until you’ve lost control over your individual and rational outlook.
Look out for these 10 signs to avoid being emotionally abused by someone.
1. Accusing and condemning
They never take the onus of the relationship, especially if something goes wrong in it. They make it look like everything’s your fault. They accuse you by saying things like “Why can’t you be happy with anything?” “It’s all your doing!”
2. Sidetracking and stalling
They never address the problems that you’re facing. Each time you make an attempt at having a conversation with them, they divert the issue in a direction such that they appear to be victims of abuse. They interrupt relevant issues and twist reality to digress you from the root cause of the argument.
3. Ignoring and disregarding
They completely disregard your protest against their misbehaviour. You’re titled as the attention seeker and excessively sensitive without a relevant cause. They make you question your own sanity by saying that you’re overreacting and being hysteric.
4. Producing paranoia
They have tools through which they can drive you towards insanity without even your knowledge of it. Evading, accusing, selectively lying, manipulating, forgetting, misguiding, are few of the techniques that they adapt to pull you away from your reality-based consciousness. They develop an emotional tendency in you where you cease to rationalize for yourself.
They never seem to remember anything that’s significant to your life. They always “forget” your birthday, to book movie tickets, or call for reservations, or bring things you requested them to get for home. Each time they do this, they imply that it’s their wish and desire that dominates the relationship, not your demands or needs.
6. Withdrawal and silent treatment
They do not respond to your expression of love or affection, withholding themselves from any kind of communication with you. They put you through silent treatment as an act of punishment and domination.
7. Disapprove and deny
They completely deny you the opportunity for developing an expression of your own. They contradict your views, thoughts and perceptions. They always go against your opinion to prove themselves superior to you.
8. Bitter sarcasm
They point out your frailties in public and humiliate you through disguised humor. Initially, it is difficult for you to understand the scathing remarks thrown at you until you gradually realize that their sarcasm is a form of verbal abuse. This is done publicly so that you’re unable to defend yourself. If you dare retaliate, they’ll rebuke you for being overly sensitive and lacking a sense of humor.
They always trivialize your achievements. They never appreciate your interests, strengths, and talents. They dismiss all your suggestions, as they do not wish to spare a moment of thoughts for your feelings. You cannot expect them to be intuitive to your desires because, even when you spell it out for them, they’ll ignore it and indulge in what they want for themselves.
10. Negative criticism
They’re extremely judgmental about everything that you say or do. They are inconsiderate towards your feelings and criticize you for everything that you say. Their words are patronizing and harsh. By the end of a conversation with them, you’ve probably lost complete control of your own identity.
You can look out for these signs if you think that someone close to you is verbally abusing you. Beware of the smothering love that they manipulatively habituate you to.
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