After her fiancé attempted to have her pay for supper for him and his buddies, she discreetly left the restaurant, earning her the admiration of others.
While fights are inevitable in any relationship, few things can drive a wedge between partners like money. Kansas State University researchers identified financial disputes as the leading cause of marital dissolution in a longitudinal survey of 4,500 couples.
According to the research, couples who argue over money typically use harsher language and the disagreement itself lasts longer, and the aftermath is often more painful than any other kind of conflict.
But one woman got herself into even more trouble with her relationship after trying to avoid a public confrontation with her fiance about funds. Even though it seemed like a completely different scenario on social media, her soon-to-be husband couldn’t put himself in her shoes.
The soon-to-be bride detailed how recent financial difficulties had been causing tension in a Reddit post by the user Throwaway795571, which received 25,000 likes.
The post claims that the unhappy couple were engaged five months ago, and that nothing has changed between then and now, even though they intend to get married. “We don’t share finance because that’s what he wants,” she said.
Everything was OK until her fiance noticed that she earned 30% more than him after a recent raise.
He has allegedly been taking advantage of the fact that she has a higher income to have her buy stuff for him and his pals over the past few months. To her question about the reason, he replies, “the 30 per cent, that’s why.”
After going out to dinner with his pals, she claims he has “tricked” her into paying the bill multiple times by asking “publicly.” She commented: “I hate confrontation especially when we’re at a public place like a restaurant so I just grin and pay.”
But she chose to stand up for herself last week when he tried to pull the same stunt again during their dinner date.
At first, he had her convinced to go supper out since he “got this.” But he seemed to have a change of heart about halfway through the lunch, as he “whispered” to her that she “would be paying for everything he and his friends ordered.”
After she paid her portion of the expenses and was still “fuming” at his demands, she excused herself to use the “restroom.” She elaborated: “I then sneaked out from there, got into my car and went home.”
Her fiancé started harassing her on the phone, accusing her of “tricking” him into paying for their dinner, and she put him in a tough spot. Upon returning home, he unleashed a torrent of insults, accusing her of “calling me selfish, irrational, cheapskate and childish for sneaking out” and demanding payment, which, to his dismay, he was unable to provide.
Having a Rethink
In the meantime, his pals warned her fiancé to “reflect” on whether or not she was a good fit for him as a spouse. Many people who were following the conversation, though, believed she was the one who should reconsider.
Madeline gumbo inquired “Why are you marrying someone who insists that his money is his money, but your money is also his money?” while XLoveInfinite said: “Those are some major red flags.”
Gimmetots123 said: “What he’s doing is abuse. Plain and simple. Run. End this. Getting married is easy, getting a divorce is hell, and some states make it take way longer than it should.”
“This is financial abuse,” GizzieTime warned. “Don’t get married. It will only get worse and he’s betting on making you feel trapped.” Niennabobenna added: “You need to stand up for yourself. And probably not be engaged to this person.”
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