Off The Record
We Took Our Baby To The Church To Be Baptized, And The Priest Whispered, “This Is Impossible,” While Holding The Child In His Arms
With a devoted wife, a newborn daughter, and a family baptism to commemorate it all, Daniel believed his life was ideal. However, the priest’s smile disappears when he hugs their child. His hushed words, “This is impossible,” chill the congregation. Daniel’s world collapses as secrets come to light.
As I stood at the nursery window, I noticed how the morning light softly illuminated Brittany’s crib through the lace curtains. I couldn’t resist grinning. Everything I had ever desired was here.
Looking down at my daughter, who was so tiny and serene, made me feel like the luckiest guy alive. She was flawless. My young daughter.
For years, I questioned whether I would ever get married, have a child, and live in a home that I helped create. When I first met Nadine in college, it all seemed like a dream.
She was sitting on those steps outside the library with her notebook, and I can still recall how she attracted my attention. I could tell immediately away that she was unique and would hold a particular place in my heart.
We adapted to one another’s lives so swiftly and effortlessly. And now, after five years of marriage, here we are. Our beautiful angel, Brittany, was only four months old.
I ought to have been pleased. Hell, I was glad. But lately, something had been bothering me. Nadine had been more reserved than normal, even aloof.
It was the demands of her freelance work, the long nights, and the stress of being new parents, I kept telling myself. But I was getting tired of it.
Sometimes I caught her staring at Brittany with a taut face, as if she were holding the entire world on her shoulders. I had no idea how to handle that.
However, today was meant to be a good day. The baptism of Brittany. A time to honor her and firmly establish the new life we had built.
I looked in the direction of the bedroom. Curled up like a cocoon under a blanket, Nadine was still asleep. Perhaps the baptism would cheer her up. We need something to be happy about.
As soon as we entered the church, it immediately felt like home. The familiar scent of incense and the ancient stone walls were very reassuring.
For decades, my family has been visiting this place. This is where my parents were married. Here, I was baptized. I and we were both a part of this area.
With Brittany in her arms, Nadine strolled next to me. Her face was pallid, and she hardly spoke all morning. I attributed it to nerves. At large gatherings like this, she was always the silent one.
“You okay?” As we made our way up the aisle toward the altar, I requested, bending slightly in.
She smiled tightly and modestly at me. “Yeah, just… a little nervous.”
I gave her hand a little squeeze and nodded. nerves. It was just that. It was all right.
The service started with the customary blessings and prayers after Father Gabriel gave us his customary warm welcome.
Being there with my family gave me a rush of pride. I had been waiting for this moment, the one when I would turn back and say, “We made it.” At last, everything was flawless.
Something changed, though, when Father Gabriel embraced Brittany.
It was a slight change at first, but it was getting stronger every second, and I could feel it in the air. With his gaze focused on her face, the priest held her with trembling hands. He appeared to be… rattled.
“What’s wrong?” Despite my inner screaming, I asked in a voice that was no more than a whisper.
Father Gabriel’s face turned pale as his eyes locked with mine. “This is impossible… this child…” He looked back down at Brittany and stammered. “She’s… my brother’s.”
I went cold. I couldn’t hear him clearly.
“What did you say?” Disbelief and fear clawed their way out of me, causing my voice to crack.
Father Gabriel glanced at Brittany, then back at me. He seemed to be struggling to maintain his calm as his hands began to shake more.
He said, “My brother, Matthew, and I… we both have a distinct birthmark,” in a quiet voice. Behind his left ear, there was a crescent-shaped mark. Our family has a history of it. Brittany also has it.
I felt the floor give way beneath me. No. This was not possible. I had Brittany, I had her! Nadine was already moving, backing away, her face as pale as a ghost, as I turned to face her.
Then she ran off without saying anything.
“Nadine!” I yelled, but she continued. She didn’t even turn around.
Except for the congregation’s whispers, the church was quiet. Even though everyone was watching, I was unable to concentrate. The ringing in my ears and the terror growing in my chest were all I could think about.
This isn’t possible.
I could hardly hear Father Gabriel trying to explain that his brother’s birth resembled Brittany’s, and that this couldn’t be a coincidence.
But it was all illogical. I had Brittany. I had a baby with Nadine. We were a family.
However, I wasn’t so sure now. I was running out of the chapel behind Nadine, my heart thumping in my chest.
I was trembling all over when I rushed through our front door. I had no idea what I would discover; perhaps Nadine was crying and prepared to tell me everything was an error.
But my hope was dashed when I saw her in our bedroom, feverishly packing items into a suitcase.
I hardly recognized my own voice as I answered, “You’re not leaving,” in a chilly tone. “Not until you tell me the truth.”
She didn’t even look in my direction. She simply continued packing, tossing everything into the bag with shaking hands. “Daniel, I—”
“Is it true?” My voice increasing, my rage finally erupting, I demanded. “Is Brittany… not mine?”
She paused. The room fell silent for a minute. Then she slowly turned around, tears running down her cheeks and her eyes crimson.
Whispering, “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I never meant for you to find out like this.”
“Find out like this?” I said it again, my voice cracking. “How on earth did you think I would find out? when she graduated from high school?”
Glancing down at the floor, Nadine winced. She continued, “I didn’t know how to tell you,” in a voice that was hardly audible. “Daniel, it was an error. I was lonely, and it simply happened, Matthew.”
“It just happened?” The sound was rough and unpleasant, and I laughed cruelly. “You only make mistakes once. This? Nadine, this is… this is our entire existence. Was everything we’ve constructed a lie?”
Now crying, she shook her head. Daniel, you are loved. I promise that I never intended to cause you any harm.
With a whisper, “You’ve already destroyed me,” I said.
Nothing else could be said. When the truth was revealed, it blazed through every part of me, leaving only ashes in its wake.
I believed Nadine to be my soulmate, but she had deceived me and broken our vows at our wedding.
She was now taking what remained of our lives with her as she left. I saw her take the ring off her finger and set it on the bedside table.
“How is Brittany doing? Are you also abandoning her?”
She sighed deeply as she froze in the doorway. “I am… I apologize, but the past few months have shown me that motherhood is not for me. In addition, I have no idea where I’m heading next.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but Nadine left before I could respond.
The house felt hollowed out that night, much like me.
While Brittany slept in her crib upstairs, I sat in the living room and stared at nothing. I was unable to comprehend it. How had it all come crashing down so fast? I was the happiest man alive for a moment. My entire life was a lie the next day.
Father Gabriel’s words were stuck in my thoughts. My brother owns her. It wasn’t me, Brittany. But my heart hurt in a way I couldn’t describe when I considered leaving her.
She was my daughter even though she wasn’t my biological daughter. When she was born, I was there to hold her, feed her, and soothe her throughout the restless nights. She had only ever known me as a father.
I went upstairs and opened her room’s door silently. Her little chest rose and fell with every breath, and she seemed so calm. With my throat constricted, I took a seat next to her crib.
“You’re mine,” I muttered, my eyes blazing. “No matter what, you’re mine.”
In that instant, I understood that love was not based on biology. Blood wasn’t the issue. It was about being present, giving it your all, and showing up.
I couldn’t abandon Brittany because she needed me.
“This is what God decided,” I whispered as I held her close to me.
I knew then and there that this was my route, and I would follow it through.
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