Off The Record
My Family Ignored Me On My Birthday—But Everything Changed When They Discovered What Was In The Will
As I prepared dinner on my 78th birthday, my own kids browsed through their phones. I made the decision to give them a lesson they would never forget that evening.
The Birthday Nobody Could Recall
At the neighborhood clinic, I had worked for forty years mending the lives of others, but nobody had time to mend mine. The odd thing about aging in Ohio is that you cease to exist unless someone is in need of your casserole or your checkbook.
That morning, I saw the snow melt off the bird feeder from the kitchen window. The scent of lemon pie and cooked chicken filled the house.
You cease to exist until someone needs your casserole or your checkbook.
When the children were younger and birthdays were celebrated with laughter rather than unpleasant quiet, I had ironed the tablecloth using the miniature tulips. The telephone remained silent.
Headlights came on through the window at six. At last. I combed my hair and removed my apron.
I said to myself in a murmur, “All right, Alice, smile.”
The door opened with a squeak.
The telephone remained silent.
My son Todd remarked, “Hey, Ma,” as he and his wife, Cheryl, entered. Not even her coat was removed. “You still maintain this level of warmth inside?” It has the feel of a sauna.
“Todd, it’s winter. You will defrost.” I attempted to chuckle. “Come in, it’s time for dinner.”
He took a whiff of the air. It has an old-fashioned smell. “Fried food?”
“It’s roast poultry.”
Cheryl took out her phone as she sat at the table. “We could have just ordered takeout, Todd,” I told you. This is charming.
“Come in, it’s time for dinner.”
The lump in my throat was swallowed. “I thought we could have a meal together like we used to.”
Todd answered, “Sure, sure,” without asking, immediately taking a beer out of the refrigerator. “Where is June?”
She texted to say she would be late. About a hair appointment, perhaps.
With her heels clicking on the linoleum, my daughter eventually bounded in thirty minutes later.
“You look good, Mom. I was unaware that we were having a full dinner. I assumed it was merely cake.”
“I thought we could have a meal together like we used to.”
I grinned. “Your favorite pie was made by me.”
She surveyed the area. “Oh. That wallpaper is still on your computer. Before I do what? You should redecorate before you—well, before you know. Perish? Transfer to an assisted living facility?”
I didn’t pretend to hear. We took a seat. Just the scrape of plates with forks.
June chewed without glancing at me and said, “So, Mom, what are you doing with the house? It’s large for a single person, after all.”
Mom, what do you do with the house?
It’s large for a single person, after all.
Cheryl chuckled quietly. “June, don’t rush her.”
Todd’s eyebrow went up. “Just little common sense, sweetie. Houses are not self-maintained.”
I was shaking when I poured the gravy. You can discuss that at a later time. It’s meant to be a family night.
“You never know when it’s time to make plans, do you?”
“June browsed through her mobile device. God forbid, Todd, did you watch the video I emailed you? That woman whose kittens were frozen?”
You can discuss that at a later time.
It’s meant to be a family night.
They chuckled. I sat there and watched as the candles melted into nothingness. Todd got up and stretched after dessert.
“We ought to leave. Tomorrow is an early shift.”
“Is that all?” Quietly, I inquired. “No coffee? Not a cake?”
Cheryl looked at her timepiece. “It is past nine o’clock. Alice, you ought to get some sleep anyhow. At your age—”
“It is past nine o’clock.”
Alice, you ought to get some sleep anyhow.
At your age—
I stood, my chair scraping the floor. “Even at my age, I can still recall significant birthdays.”
Confused and perhaps a little embarrassed, they exchanged glances but remained silent. I extinguished the candles myself when the door closed behind them. Like a phantom of something warm and vanished, the smoke curled up.
Then I burst out laughing. An abrasive, weary noise.
Even at my age, I can vividly recall
birthdays with significance.
They were going to find out how mistaken they were if they believed the elderly woman in the small Ohio home had nothing left.
The Will’s News
I had already made up my mind by the next morning. Wet pine and diesel from the neighbor’s old pickup filled the air outside. Ohio winters have a way of making you think more clearly while chilling your bones.
I sat down by the kitchen table, poured myself a cup of weak coffee, and grinned at the old rotary phone as if it were my accomplice.
By the next morning,
I had already decided.
“All right, Alice,” I said to myself, “it’s time to find out who still has your number.”
First, I called Todd.
“Mom? Are you alright?” His tone was a mix of worry and annoyance as he questioned.
“Honey, I’m all right. Listen, yesterday I just returned from a trip to the bank. According to the lawyer, there has been a development about my finances.”
“Mom? Are you alright?”
A pause occurred. I could almost hear his brain clicking.
“A change?”
Indeed. I have an old account from your father’s insurance policy, apparently. been expanding for years. It was quite unexpected.
“That’s—uh—good news, Mom! Wow!” He sounded happier all of a sudden. “You know, I should come over and help you sort things out.”
It looks like I have an old account.
from the insurance policy of your father.
been expanding for years.
I smiled while sipping my coffee. That’s very kind of you, Todd. Next month, I’ll be revising my will. I’ll be careful to keep in mind who is assisting.
June took the next call.
“Hello, Mom.” “You sound energetic today,” she remarked.
“I guess I am. It’s funny, honey, since my lawyer claims I have more money than I initially believed.”
Quiet. Next, “How much are we discussing?”
“To what extent are we conversing?”
“Oh, I’m not sure. Enough, I suppose, to make people kinder.”
It was the uneasy kind of laughter. “Don’t make jokes like that, Mom. Someone responsible, like me, should assist you.”
“Accountable. June, that’s a lovely word. Let’s find out who deserves it.”
“Don’t joke like that, Mom.”
The miracle started by the weekend. Todd delivered the pricey kind of groceries. June even cleaned her shoes before entering and brought flowers.
As I stirred my stew, I taunted, “Well, look at you.” “Two visits from my fancy daughter in one week.”
“Mom, I simply missed you. I figured you might enjoy some company.”
As she laid the table, I noticed her manicure gleaming and responded, “I do.” “But you were eager to get out last week.”
The miracle started by the weekend.
“Don’t be dramatic,” she laughed in response. “I’ve simply been very busy.”
“Very busy,” I muttered. Yes. When you lose sight of what is important, life becomes that way.
She tensed up. “I’m very proud of you for handling your money, you know. Not everyone your age is as good at tracking.”
I said, ladling soup, “Mm-hmm. If only love had the same interest as money, wouldn’t it?”
“If only love could generate interest.”
You know, like money does?”
Todd called again on Sunday.
“Want to have brunch, Ma? My reward.”
My reward. I almost spilled my tea at those words.
He grinned broadly at the dining. “This new will thing, then. Do you have someone in charge of it?”
This new will thing, then.
Do you have someone in charge of it?”
“I do.” A very astute young lawyer. She advised me to enumerate my beneficiaries according to… patterns of conduct. Patterns of behavior?”
Yes. Individuals who exhibit constancy, friendliness, and decent manners.
Todd gave a tense laugh. That’s me, isn’t it? I’m constantly watching out for you, you know that.
“Obviously, Todd.” I grinned and leaned back. “You said precisely that when you requested $10,000 to fix your boat.”
That’s me, isn’t it?
I’m constantly watching out for you, you know that.
His eggs almost suffocated him. “That was not the same.”
“Was it?”
Todd parted his lips, then closed them. All I did was stir my coffee.
“I’ve been putting things in writing recently, you know, Todd. Notes. helps me remember who is who.”
“Recently, I’ve been putting things in writing.
Notes.
helps me remember who is who.
I took my small journal, The Month of Observation, and sat by the window that evening.
I sketched a tiny symbol—a heart, a question mark, or an X—next to each name. Todd had one of each. June was marked with three questions.
Quiet contentment filled the room as I set down my pen. They believed I was being deceived, but I would follow through this time.
They believed they were deceiving me.
But I would see it through this time.
Because the promise of money awakens a family more quickly than anything else.
The Will’s Reading
I was aware that night would either mark the beginning of something exquisitely evil or my last deed. I put out store-bought pastries, lighted two candles, and arranged the table with mismatched cups.
I was prepared for the quiet hum of something about to happen that permeates Ohio evenings. Todd arrived first, sporting a brand-new coat and an unreal smile. June then arrived, all artificial warmth and scent.
I anticipated that evening would either be
My last deed or the beginning of something
Beautifully evil.
Finally, there was Harry, a beggar. His hands were raw from the weather, his beard was wild, and his coat was ripped.
June’s nose furrowed. “Who is that, Mom?”
“My visitor. When no one else wanted to help, he assisted me the other day with carrying my shopping.”
Todd scowled. “You’re not serious. He’s homeless, what?”
“You’re not serious.”
“He’s homeless, what?”
I poured tea into his cracked cup and murmured, “Perhaps.” “However, he treated me more kindly that day than you two have in years.”
It was hard enough to eat the stillness.
June crossed her arms. “All right, Mom. The mystery is plenty. You claimed that this had to do with your volition.”
“Yes.” I put down the teapot and gave them each a direct look. “I’ve made the decision to alter it. I’m leaving Harry everything I own, including the property, my savings, and the remainder of my pension.”
“Everything I own, including the house, savings,”
The remainder of my pension—
I’ll let Harry handle this.
Todd almost choked. “You’re completely insane! You’ve been under our care for weeks! I gave you dinner and fixed your faucet!”
“Two weeks,” I answered coolly. Out of my seventy-eight years, two weeks. You simply provided an answer to your own query.
June’s voice lifted. That’s cruel, Mom. We have always supported you.
I cocked my head. “When? When did you require a loan? When you arrived at Thanksgiving with nothing but left with money and leftovers? Or perhaps when you were unable to avoid checking your phones at my birthday dinner?”
“You’re completely insane!”
“You’ve been under our care for weeks!”
Todd rubbed his temples and moaned. “Life is difficult, Mom. Kids, we have jobs—”
“And I didn’t? When I sent you money for school while working double shifts? when I assisted you in purchasing your first vehicle? I did everything for you. And you stopped coming when I was no longer helpful.”
June’s hand smacked against the table. “That is unfair!”
“That is unfair!”
Harry, meantime, silently leaned forward. “Perhaps all she wants is to be noticed, not controlled.”
“Get out of here,” June yelled.
Harry smiled calmly in response to her stare. “Perhaps you ought to listen.”
I inhaled. “You realize what’s amusing? My house was suddenly full again once I mentioned that I had money. Like the old days. Kindness for two whole weeks. What a miracle! What a deal.”
Do you know what’s amusing?
I claimed to have money.
Then all of a sudden, my house was full once more.
Todd’s gaze was fixed on the ground. June had sparkling eyes.
“You brought us up better than this, Mom.”
Then perhaps it’s time for you to recall that. I haven’t died yet. You still have time to make the necessary repairs. However, for tonight… Go, please.
The door clicked shut and they departed in silence.
I haven’t died yet.
You still have time to make the necessary repairs.
After a brief pause, Harry let out a sigh and pulled at his scarf.
“All right, darling, may I remove this at last? This outfit is quite itchy.”
I chuckled, something I hadn’t done in months. “All right, Harry. You deserve it. And I appreciate your cooperation.”
He smiled as he removed the scarf. “Well, we certainly put on a show for them. It brought back memories of the theater days.”
“Well, we certainly put on a show for them.”
It brought back memories of the theater days.
I poured him a fresh cup of tea and remarked, “Best performance I’ve seen in years.” “Do you believe they will change now?”
Harry shrugged and took a sip. It’s difficult to say. However, that served as a really strong wake-up call.
Then he smiled mischievously and reclined back. Tell me, Alice, is there any truth to the tale of the hidden fortune?”
I gave a wink. “Obviously not. Where could I find such a sum of money? However, my children don’t need to be aware of it.”
“Do you believe they will change now?”
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