Off The Record

My Boyfriend’s Son Scares Our 3 Month-Old-Daughter on Purpose, Forcing Me to Give an Ultimatum

Published on January 16, 2024

In a quiet suburban home, a loving mother was facing a sad problem: her boyfriend’s 12-year-old son was purposely scaring their three-month-old daughter. Even after many sincere pleas and warnings, the disturbing behavior kept happening, which made the mother lose it.

A woman who didn’t want to be named went to the “AITAH” subreddit on January 11, 2024, to talk about a troubling experience. After being told she had postpartum depression (PPD), she wondered how it affected the things she did.

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It had been six years since the Original Poster (OP) broke up with her boyfriend. He also had a son named Jake who was 12 years old. For the past two years, he and Jake had lived with OP. OP had been living in her house for almost ten years when she had a problem with Jake’s behavior toward their three-month-old daughter.

Even though Jake seemed to care about his sister, there was a disturbing trend when he purposely scared the baby. When Jake got close to the baby, he would yell, “RA!” out loud and enjoy watching her shock. After that, he would laugh and say he was sorry, but it wasn’t sincere, that he didn’t mean to scare her.

This upsetting pattern happened at least four times a day, which is why OP turned to the online community for help. She was pulled between her worries about the possible effects of PPD and her desire to find a solution.

And even though OP kept trying to stop Jake’s scary behavior by warning him about the baby’s ears and stressing that his actions were not funny, Jake’s scary behavior kept happening.

The breaking point happened three days ago, when OP, who was very angry, addressed her boyfriend and Jake. She gave them a harsh ultimatum: if they did any more scare tactics on purpose, she would be evicted, which would erase them from her life forever.

The boyfriend’s inconsistent behavior led to the choice to take such extreme steps. He did step in sometimes, but he also told OP that their worries were just excessive. In order to explain what he had done, Jake said that kids often find it funny when babies jump.

Looking back on the moment, OP clearly remembered what she had said: “If he purposely scared my kid again, then [Jake and OP’s boyfriend] would be evicted.” Even though she was given a strong warning, she felt bad as she watched Jake go to his room with a sad face.

The night before OP told her story, she left the room for a moment and came back to find her three-month-old daughter napping in her swing. While she was gone for a short time, Jake took the chance to do something else troubling.

OP could hear Jake asking, “What are you doing?” in a baby voice from far away. Right away, the sound of her daughter’s screams could be heard everywhere. She rushed back and heard her boyfriend trying to calm things down by stepping in.

A little over an hour later, something else scary happened. This time, when OP went into the bathroom, she heard the feared “RA” sound followed by her daughter’s cries that echoed through the house.

She quickly gave her husband an option because she was angry and worried about her baby’s health. She didn’t wait for an answer before telling her boyfriend and Jake to pack their things and leave right away. At this point, her main goal was to calm down her upset child.

Jake tried to say sorry, saying that what he did was just a habit, because he knew how bad the situation was. The boyfriend, on the other hand, spoke out against it and played down the events. OP refused to accept their excuses and demanded they leave. But her boyfriend stubbornly claimed his right to live in the house and wouldn’t leave.

At this point, OP threatened to leave and have the police serve her with an eviction letter. Even though her boyfriend begged her not to leave and said Jake is only 12 years old and can’t be perfect, she did and filed for their eviction the next day.

As things got worse, OP tried to figure out why Jake was scaring her daughter by asking him directly. “He thinks it’s funny when kids cry,” OP remembered from their talk.

She still had some doubts about whether or not she had made the right choice. “AITA for kicking my BF and his kid out because his son was constantly scaring my baby on purpose?” asked the OP.

The story of OP went viral on the internet, and many people had feelings of pity for him. Most people agree with her, and many say she did the right thing.

“NTA. Yes. He’s 12. Old enough to know better and to not do it. Old enough to listen to instructions. Would he like it if you startled him every morning? No. He’s 12 but he’s being an AH and it sounds almost sadistic,” opined one user.

“As the mother of a 12 year old, I 100% agree that this is not normal for that age. Maybe if he was 5 or 6, but certainly not 12. They learn after being correct once or twice. The fact that he says he likes making babies cry is alarming. I’m wondering what other behavioral issues he has,” added a second person.

“As the mother of a 4 year old, this [behavior] would only be understandable if Jake was 2 or 3 years old,” quipped a third netizen. “Let your boyfriend get to sleep and then clang a couple of pans together to wake him up. Do this 4x a night or so and see if it changes his mind. His kid is 12. He is old enough to follow rules. This is not just a kid being a kid,” expressed yet another commenter.