Off The Record
I Was Shocked When My SIL Called Me Last Sunday After My Husband Had Been Going To His Brother’s House Every Day For The Past Six Months
Though Jeanne thought her marriage was solid and joyful, she was uncomfortable with John’s inexplicable trips to his brother’s home. Jeanne’s life completely collapsed one Sunday when her sister-in-law called to tell an astonishing secret, laying the groundwork for a confrontation she never would have expected.
I need to vent since I’ve been kind of in a trance since Sunday.
I’ve been dating my spouse, John, for eight years, and we’ve been married for five. Lucas, our adorable baby boy, turned one year old recently.
Despite the constant busyness of life, we were able to maintain order. I’m a fitness instructor, and John manages building projects. Mutual respect and routines are integral parts of our existence. That is, I believed.
I’ve always appreciated John for being a family man. He would go above and beyond to support his brother Clarke in any way that he could. Our family is close to Clarke and his wife, Laurel, and their two children.
But John’s daily visits to Clarke’s residence developed into a habit over the course of the last six months. I didn’t give it much thought at first. He always had an explanation, whether it was to assist with repairs, see his brother, or simply uphold a “family tradition” that he was adamant about.
John would disappear around suppertime and not return till late. We started to become a little tense about it, but he always had a good reason.
“Jeanne, Clarke needs help with the plumbing,” he’d say, or “It’s just a quick visit, I promise.”
At times, it said, “You know how Clarke and Laurel are; they always need an extra hand with the kids.”
I overlooked it because I trusted him. Everything was the same until last Sunday.
My phone rang when I was in the kitchen trying to get Lucas to eat his breakfast. It was my sister-in-law Laurel. Just by the way she said hello, I could tell she was sad.
“Jeanne, can we talk?” Laurel had a strained voice.
“Laurel, of course. What is happening?” I asked, trying not to seem too serious.
It has to do with John. “He has been visiting on a daily basis for the last six months,” she said.
“Yes, I am aware of that. He’s been a big help to Clarke,” I answered.
She laughed a little bitterly. “Aiding? He’s been coming over merely to nosh on our meals, Jeanne. How much is it costing us, do you know?”
I was taken aback. “Eating your meal, is that what you mean? He informed me that he was assisting Clarke with various repairs.”
“Sure, he occasionally lends a hand, but for the most part, he merely turns up for dinner. And the sum has been growing. Feeding an additional mouth every day is beyond our means. You must begin covering our grocery costs.”
“I was hearing things that I couldn’t believe. Are you serious, Laurel? John never brought up the subject of having dinner at your house every day.”
Yes, I mean it. I have the precise amount you owe us for the last month because I have been keeping track. It costs $150.
“$150?” I repeated, thinking quickly. “This cannot be accurate. I must discuss this with John.”
“Please carry out. And tell him that this cannot continue. With a small softening of her tone,” Laurel remarked, “We’re battling ourselves.”
“Obviously, I get it. My apologies, Laurel. I was completely ignorant. He and I will speak tonight.”
“I’m grateful, Jeanne. This is too much for us; I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” she remarked before hanging up.
It stunned me. After all, I cook too! I cook, but ever since Lucas was born, I’ve become really health concerned.
My attention has been on staying physically strong and making sure we get well-balanced meals. But John would frequently say things like, “Your cooking is great, but sometimes I just crave something hearty,” or “I miss the taste of real food.”
Laurel’s call sent a tempest of feelings through me. It was painful to consider that John, rather of just telling me how he felt, was slinking off to savor someone else’s cuisine.
That night, when John got home, I was prepared for a fight.
“John, we really need to talk,” I responded, attempting to maintain my composure.
“Sure, what’s up?” He answered, appearing a little tense.
“Laurel gave me a call. She informed me of your frequent visits and your daily consumption of her meals. How come you didn’t tell me?”
John avoided my stare by looking down. “Jeanne, I didn’t mean to offend you. Although your cuisine is excellent, there are moments when I just long for the flavor of real food. The filling, cozy dinners we used to have.”
Myannoyance finally got to me. “So, rather than telling me how you’re feeling, you sneak over to Clarke’s apartment every day? You realize how awkward it is to learn from Laurel? She now demands that we cover the cost of her groceries.”
John’s remorse filled his face. “Jeanne, I apologize. It wasn’t my intention for it to get out of control. I simply miss the comfort cuisine and the bygone era.”
I’ve been working to maintain our health, particularly after Lucas was born. With a hint of broken voice, I added, “I thought you understood that.”
“Yes, Jeanne. I am grateful for all that you do for us. Simply put, I handled this improperly. Please pardon me,” he uttered, his eyes appealing and sincere.
In an attempt to relax, I inhaled deeply. “All right. This is the action we will take. We’ll help with Laurel’s shopping expenses, and I’ll try to cook some of the traditional meals you’re missing. But you must swear to me that you will be truthful going forward.”
With a look of relief on his face, John nodded. “I swear. I’ll speak with Laurel and Clarke.”
I was determined to put things right when I got up the following morning, despite having a sad heart.
I chose to give Laurel a call. Despite having a knot in my gut, I called her phone.
I said, “Hey, Laurel, it’s Jeanne,” as soon as she answered.
“Hello, Jeanne.” “How are you doing?” With a softer tone than the day before, she posed the question.
“Considering, I’m doing fine. I wanted to discuss the state of the groceries. John and I decided to split the cost of your bills. How does that sound?”
“That seems reasonable. Thank you so much, Jeanne. I do,” Laurel answered, sounding relieved. “And for what it’s worth, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble between you and John.”
“Laurel, I am aware. It’s simply… difficult. I appreciate your honesty, though.”
After we hung up, I sat at the kitchen table, staring at nothing in particular. I had to find a way to replace some of those cozy dinners that John sorely missed without sacrificing our balanced way of life.
I made the decision to go to the nearby farmers’ market later that day. I picked up fresh ingredients as I made my way around the stalls, which brought to mind the hearty cuisine that John adored. I had a flash of hope. This might work.
I went back home and got to work making dinner. I couldn’t help but smile as the scent of slow-cooked beef stew filled the kitchen. It combined some healthy adjustments I’d learned over the years with our favorite comfort meal recipes. John came in while I was chopping vegetables.
Smelling the air appreciatively, he remarked, “Something smells amazing.”
“I’m experimenting,” I said, raising my gaze to him. “A mix of our old favorites with a healthy twist.”
With a gleam of relief in his eyes, John grinned. “I can’t wait to try it.”
I watched John eat his first taste of food as we sat down. He sighed with satisfaction as his eyes brightened.
“Jeanne, this is so good.” “I appreciate it,” he responded, grabbing another scoop.
I said, “I’m glad you like it,” with a feeling of satisfaction.
Weeks passed, and we began to feel more at ease with our new routine. I combined the ancient and the new as I prepared a wide range of foods. Although it was less often and always with my knowledge, John continued to see Clarke and Laurel. Our faith was gradually being restored.
One night, as we were clearing the table, John gave me a contemplative look.
He started, “You know, I’ve been thinking, maybe we should have dinner with Clarke and Laurel one night.” It could be a means of expressing gratitude and demonstrating our progress.”
After a brief period of hesitation, I nodded. “John, that’s a really good concept. Come on, let’s do it.”
We decided to meet on the Saturday after next week. I had been cooking all day, combining everyone’s favorite meals into one big feast. There was an uneasy tension in the air when Clarke and Laurel arrived, but we were determined to make the evening enjoyable.
Trying to seem happy, I said, “Thank you for coming.”
“Thanks for having us,” Laurel said with a sincere grin.
The talk flowed more naturally than I had anticipated as we sat down to dine. We discussed a wide range of topics, including our current lives and our early experiences. Laurel interjected with a sharp comment as Clarke related amusing anecdotes from their joint job. It was nice to laugh together once more.
Laurel grabbed me by the elbow as we were tidying up after supper.
“Jeanne, let me apologize once more for the way everything turned out. I didn’t intend to sow discord of this kind.”
I gave a headshake. “Laurel, don’t worry. In fact, it made John and I face certain concerns we had been putting off.”
With a look of relief on her face, she nodded. “I’m glad to hear that.”
As the evening drew to an end, I felt at ease. Though there was still much to be done, we felt as though we were headed in the right direction.
John surprised me with a little bunch of flowers a few days later. “I know things haven’t been easy, but I want you to know how much I appreciate you, Jeanne.”
I answered, “Thank you, John,” as tears started to form in my eyes. “I appreciate you too.”
We gave one another a hug and held on tight. I knew then that if we confronted it together, we could overcome anything.
We had a small family and friend celebration of our anniversary a few months later. I looked around at the folks who had stuck by us through thick and thin as we raised a toast to the future. I couldn’t help but be appreciative of the love and tenacity that had gotten us through our most trying moments.
Even so, John and I continued to have highs and lows, but we handled them amicably and openly. I could tell by the way he looked at me that no matter what happened, we would always end up together.
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