Off The Record
I Decided Not to Invite My Daughter-in-Law on our Family Trip, and Here’s Why I Stand by My Decision
A mother and her daughters-in-law were tired of her daughter-in-law ruining their girls’ vacations, so they started cutting her out of their plans. If she was mistaken, the woman wanted to know.
A mother of three girls mentioned that she frequently went on girl’s outings with her daughters. Absent from the men in the family, they would engage in activities such as going to the mall. Beth was the name of the woman whose son was married to.
Beth was welcomed on the girls’ vacations by the woman, who treated her like a family member. But the woman found it hard to incorporate Beth after having a child because it cut into their fun.
The woman talked about how she and her daughters would go on girls’ trips, saying: “I have three girls, and we still like to do girl trips for the day. My son got married to a girl named Beth. Her only kid is 8 years old at this point, and she hasn’t lost the weight.”
For what reason did Beth ruin their fun?
Despite Beth’s average weight before having a kid, she struggled to go on girls’ excursions with her three daughters because she had not lost the baby weight.
According to her, Beth’s weight made it such that she had to take frequent pauses while walking.
The lady confessed that her daughter-in-law’s attitude is the main reason why she no longer enjoys being around her. She conceded:
“I used to like Beth and took her on our trips a lot of times. Recently, I invited the girls to go to a farm for pumpkin patch and pick some apples. We went, it was a great time, and some pictures went on Facebook. I got a call from Beth asking why she wasn’t invited.”
Readers were informed by the woman that she had declined Beth’s invitation due to the frequent breaks they would have needed while exploring the vast orchards.
Additionally, she revealed that Beth had spent the majority of their previous shopping trip wishing she could just sit on a bench.
Beth called the woman and wanted to know why she wasn’t invited on the orchard trip.
The woman lied and said it was simply a family vacation. The woman was caught red-handed by Beth, who exposed her fallacy.
After that, the woman informed Beth that she hadn’t been invited because of her weight and the fact that she spoiled their girls’ vacations by making them stop too much and preventing Beth from doing what she wanted to accomplish.
After describing the woman as a “jerk,” Beth hung up the phone in shock. Afterwards, the woman’s son started texting her, advising her to apologize to Beth. However, the woman’s daughters were strongly supporting her, expressing their frustration with Beth ruining their travels.
The woman continued by posting a question asking Reddit people for their neutral thoughts on the matter, namely if she was incorrect to exclude her daughter-in-law from family gatherings because of her weight.
What Did Reddit Users Say?
Many people told the woman that she did the right thing by omitting her daughter-in-law, but that she should have worded it better. Some people believed she was incorrect.
Someone mentioned that they would get irritated if someone demanded to know why they weren’t invited to an event, particularly if it was something they wanted to do with their girls.
The individual claimed that Beth exerted excessive pressure, prompting the woman to understandably resist.
Someone else elaborated by saying that Beth should have taken her mother-in-kind law’s response as a compliment rather than accused her of lying since, in most cases, people aren’t invited for valid reasons.
Someone else remarked that Beth should be fine with not participating in activities that were too strenuous for her or that she should figure out a way to make herself more comfortable in the group.
Furthermore, it was anticipated that the woman would select activities that would not necessitate an excessive level of physical exertion when inviting Beth.
The same individual also mentioned that they believed Beth’s attitude, not her physical level, would be the deciding factor in whether or not she could participate in future family events.
A person who had put on weight mentioned that they avoided things that required a lot of physical exertion.
The individual acknowledged that Beth may not feel confident in taking on every responsibility, but advised her to exercise discretion when deciding which of her mother-in-law’s invitations to accept and which to reject.
Someone informed the woman that, although she was not in the wrong for excluding Beth, she might have said it more gently so that Beth wouldn’t feel guilty.
The individual proposed viewing it as a demonstration of their concern for Beth, above all else.
Someone felt it was improper for the woman to tell Beth a lie about why she was being excluded, even though excluding Beth itself was not immoral. They elaborated:
“It’s because they go at different paces, and she complains about it. The cause may be far more than her weight.”
Someone spoke up for Beth, claiming that her fitness level, not her weight, was the problem.
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The reader pointed out that one can be physically fit and overweight; the woman in question should determine whether her frustration stems from Beth’s weight or her fitness level.
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