Off The Record
My Husband Hid His “Best Friend” From Me For Years — What I Discovered Shattered My Heart
I believed my husband’s best friend to be a phantom from his past for twelve years. Then my friend’s Instagram scroll one evening during girls’ wine time made all the difference. My world was completely upended by what I found.
In our last year of college, when life seemed to be just getting started, my husband Dan and I met. He was more than a boyfriend. I believed I would spend my golden years with him, and he was my first true love.
“You know what I love about us?” In those early days, Dan used to say. “We simply mesh. As if we were meant to be together.”
I had full faith in him. How could I not?
Together, we created a life out of almost nothing. We lived in a small apartment after graduation, eating cheap takeout and giggling about our enduring late-night study habits. I recall Dan’s embarrassed smile as he surprised me with flowers from the grocery store’s sale rack.
When he said, “Sorry, they’re wilted,” “But they’re still beautiful, right?”
“Just like us,” I would teasingly reply. “A little rough around the edges, but perfect together.”
Things improved over time. We were fortunate to have two lovely children who brought turmoil and happiness into our home, as well as decent careers and a cozy home in a peaceful area.
Ethan arrived first, followed by my inquisitive gaze and Dan’s obstinate chin. Then came Maya, our tiny firecracker who was always willing to break the rules.
Dan would mutter, “Look at what we made,” while observing them as they slept. “Look at this perfect little family.”
It seemed like we had everything I could possibly want. Or so I believed.
Leo was Dan’s best friend. Leo was merely a shadow in Dan’s stories for years, even though he had known him for a long time before he met me. A name that was rarely used in the present tense, but occasionally surfaced in discussions about old recollections or college days.
“Whatever happened to Leo?” Sometimes I would ask. “You guys used to be so close.”
Dan’s look was always a little uneasy as he shrugged. “People separate with time. You are aware of the situation. Life becomes hectic.”
Leo was not present at our wedding. Nor did he attend any of the holidays or birthdays. Dan would shake his head when I proposed inviting him to dinner parties or barbecues.
He’d say, “Leo’s not really a social guy,” In addition, he currently resides rather far away. You know, different circles?”
I thought he was just a friend who lived far away and came and went from Dan’s life. The college friend who never quite fit in with the family but kept in touch via occasional texts. Don’t we all have those friends?
Then, during a mutual friend’s birthday celebration around two years ago, I finally got to meet Leo in person. I pushed that we go even though Dan had attempted to talk us out of it, saying he had too much work to catch up on.
I said, “Come on,” and adjusted his collar. “How recently did we go out together? Only the two of us?”
Leo was amazing. He was a tall, athletic man who effortlessly attracts women’s attention. He appeared as though he would have been featured on the cover of GQ magazine. Self-assured in that carefree manner that caught your eye across a packed room.
He said, “So you’re the famous Alice,” as Dan presented us. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
There was something strange about that introduction. I suppose it was the way Leo’s handshake lasted a little too long or the way Dan stood too rigidly next to me. Perhaps it was the fact that, despite being best friends, they hardly spoke to one another during the night.
I told Dan, “That was weird,” on the way home. “Leo and you hardly spoke at all. I believed that you two were close.”
“We are,” answered Dan hastily. “We simply don’t have to be very attracted to one another during events. There are friendships that go beyond that.
I dismissed it. Until an unforeseen event occurred three months ago.
Dan informed me he was “going fishing” with his cousin Marcus that weekend. That was nothing out of the ordinary. Since our marriage, they had been taking these weekend excursions.
“Tell Marcus I said hi,” I called while he packed his car with his overnight luggage. “And bring back some fish this time!”
It sounded strained, but Dan laughed. “No assurances. I’m better at drinking beer than I am at catching anything, you know.”
I had the girls over the same evening. The children’s toys were still strewn all over the living room rug, wine glasses were on the counter, and the sound of laughter filled the kitchen. I caught a glimpse of my buddy Lily’s screen while she was browsing Instagram, updating us on the drama involving our common pals.
My heart twitched.
Dan was the one.
He and Leo were in a hot tub. They were both holding beers, without shirts, and smiling at the camera as if nothing were wrong. According to the timestamp, it was posted half an hour ago.
Fishing was not possible. Marcus was not a cousin. There was only my husband, who appeared happy than I had seen him in years, and a man who, according to him, was no longer a major part of his life.
Lily froze when I asked her to show me the post.
“It’s nothing,” she muttered as she attempted to shut down the app with trembling fingers. “Just some random thing.”
However, I grabbed the phone out of her grasp and took a closer look. What completely upended my universe was the caption.
It said, “No one I’d rather be with tonight.”
I saw comments from individuals I knew and heart-eye emojis underneath it. Since they were all friends with people in our social circle, their behavior was entirely typical.
I said, “I need a minute,” and hurried to the restroom.
Lily’s phone was still in my palm as I shut myself inside. I could hardly type since my hands were trembling so much, but I was still able to access Leo’s Instagram account. I was totally destroyed by what I discovered there.
Dan and Leo were featured in a ton of pictures.
There were pictures of the two of them on trekking excursions I had never heard of. With the exception of me, they were with groups of our mutual friends in others.
They were usually seated too close to one another, their arms wrapped around one another, and their smiles too big and personal. In certain photos, they appeared to be a couple on romantic vacations rather than two “old buddies catching up.”
I browsed through months’ worth of posts while sitting on the chilly lavatory floor. My heart felt like it was being sliced open by every picture. Everything fell into place when I began to notice the timestamps.
Every single post matched the evenings exactly. In his own words, Dan was “working late,” “helping his cousin with house projects,” or “just hanging out with the guys.”
Twenty minutes later, the living room was completely quiet when I eventually left the restroom. Six women who had been conversing and laughing moments earlier sat like remorseful kids who had just broken something valuable.
Lily appeared ill and pale. She was unable to look me in the eye. Instead of looking at me, the others continued to fumble with their wine cups and stare at their hands.
“You all knew,” I said.
There was no question.
I could tell everything I needed to know from their faces. Sarah was the first to cry. Jessica comes next. Then came the halting apologies.
They said, “We’re so sorry,” repeatedly. “We didn’t know how to tell you.”
I blew up. After twelve years of friendship and confidence, they had all been dishonest with me. I was trembling with rage.
“How long?” I insisted. “How long have you all known?”
Lily sobbed into her hands after losing it all.
She said, “Since college,” “I’m very sorry, Alice. Since college, Dan and Leo have been together.”
The room whirled around me. “Together how?”
The statement, “They’ve been sleeping together for years,” was made by Sarah via tears. “Ever since you were married. Do you recall that senior year break you and Dan took?”
I recalled. We had been apart for a month after a foolish argument. He appeared more confident in us than ever when we reconciled. Six months later, he made a proposal.
“That’s when they found each other,” Lily added further. “And they didn’t actually stop. Leo couldn’t bear to watch Dan get married to someone else, so he skipped your wedding. Because he feels too bad to look you in the eye, he has been avoiding you at events.”
My legs failed me. As my entire world collapsed around me, I collapsed onto the couch.
“The entire friend group has been covering for them,” Jessica said in a low voice. establishing hangouts in group conversations to which you were not invited. When you inquired about Leo, they made excuses. The boys knew, too. We all reasoned that perhaps you would finally figure it out.
Dan never thought of Leo as a ghost from his past. He was simply kept out of my sight, like a sinister secret Dan was unwilling to confront.
Once the girls had dispersed like leaves in a storm, leaving behind half-empty wine glasses and the remnants of my former existence, I contacted Dan right there.
“Dan, if our marriage has ever meant anything to you, you need to come home right now.”
“Alice? What’s the matter? Marcus is still with me—”
“Stop lying to me.” My voice sliced like ice through his justifications. “I am aware of Leo. I am aware of the hot tub. I am aware of everything.”
The other end was silent for what seemed like an age. The denial followed.
He began by making feeble and pitiful attempts to justify what I had witnessed. He attempted negotiation after those failed.
“Alice, please, let me explain—”
“Come home now, or I’m calling a divorce lawyer in the morning.”
His voice abruptly changed.
When he said, “I’ll be there in two hours,”
The remnants of a girls’ night that had completely rocked my world were all about me as I sat in that deserted, disorganized kitchen. Dan appeared really remorseful when he eventually entered our front door.
I gestured to the chair across from me and said, “Sit down,” “And for once in our marriage, tell me the truth.”
The next thing that happened was worse than I could have ever imagined. Dan didn’t simply acknowledge having an affair. He admitted to basing our whole existence on falsehoods.
He had been gay since he was a youngster, and our marriage had served as his front from the beginning. He asserted that if his wealthy, conventional parents found out, they would disown him. In order to fulfill the ideal heterosexual fantasy, he had picked me to be the wife who would conceal his true sexual orientation and had children with me.
I questioned, “Did you ever love me?”
What remained of my heart was destroyed by Dan’s response.
When he said, “I loved you as a friend,” “I cherished the life we created. However, it isn’t how a husband ought to love his wife.”
The true love of his life had always been Leo. Every business trip, late night at work, and weekend spent with “the boys” had all been stolen moments spent with the person who truly mattered to him.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” he repeatedly pleaded. “Please don’t ruin my connections with my family. My folks would never get it.”
The following week I filed for divorce.
Dan, who was presumably relieved to finally quit acting, moved out without much of a fight. For the first time in twelve years, I attempted to put together a life based on something tangible, kept the house, and was granted primary custody of Ethan and Maya.
However, karma intervened with a vengeance.
Margaret, Dan’s mother, called me out of the blue a month after our divorce was finalized.
“Alice, my love, I must apologize to you,” she continued, her voice full of passion. “We just found out about Daniel’s lies.”
Dan’s parents had been told everything by one of our friends. The revelation that left me stunned, though, is that they weren’t upset about their gay son. Because he had lied about them, they were incensed.
Margaret went on to say, “We’ve always loved Daniel exactly as he is,” “We would have embraced him if he had brought Leo home twenty years ago. It is inexcusable that he damaged your life due to the lies he told himself.”
Dan’s parents did not reject him because he was gay. They interrupted him because he was a liar and a coward.
In the cruelest turn of all, they decided that Ethan and Maya should get his fortune instead, claiming that our kids should have a legacy based on honesty.
Two months later, the last blow was delivered.
As it happened, Leo had simply been drawn to the excitement of the covert affair. The enthusiasm subsided after everything was public knowledge and Dan was free to spend all of his time with him. Dan was left with nothing except the remains of the life he had thrown away when Leo ended things and moved across the nation.
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