Off The Record

The Bartender Only Thanked My Spouse When I Gave Her A 50% Tip

Published on September 30, 2024

One evening, a woman chose to go out to dinner with her husband, but she had no idea what would happen that night.

When she first arrived, the bartender didn’t notice her and asked her husband alone about the cuisine. The bartender then praised just her husband after receiving a tip from the woman.

An anonymous female contributor shared her story on Reddit’s “AITA” topic on March 17, 2022. The woman talked about her date night with her spouse and how it ended, which was very different from how she had expected.

The woman suggested that one evening they go to the neighborhood eatery for a quick meal and a beverage since she and her husband weren’t feeling very excited about cooking. Her spouse concurred; he was a frequent customer of the restaurant, going there roughly once a week with a buddy.

The woman informed her husband that she had cash and would cover the bill. When the couple reached the restaurant, they took their seats at the bar. “My husband told me, ‘We have to make sure to tip her good because she’s the new bartender on the day me and friend go [sic],” said the woman of her conversation with her husband.

From his perspective, they never had empty glasses, and their dinners were enjoyable.

The sentiment struck a chord with OP because she too worked in customer service where tips were given. She told her spouse she would remember that without any problems.

The couple ordered dinner and a few beers for themselves while they were there. Although not overtly impolite, the bartender appeared to ignore the woman’s presence. She asked the husband questions mainly about the meal, and only after his plate was almost empty—hers was still half full—did she ask him if he needed a box.

The husband received big smiles and laughs, whereas the woman encountered a deadpan expression and a monotone demeanor. “I still answered politely even if [the bartender] didn’t technically ask me a question,” recalled the woman.

The woman paid with cash for the entire cost, which came to about $60, and left a $30 tip. The woman chose to leave a sizable tip despite the bartender’s slightly uncomfortable demeanor since she was used to working for tips herself and because her husband was a frequent customer. She admitted that her food was always delicious and that she always had a drink, regardless of any weird vibes she might be experiencing.

However, a moment after cashing them out, the bartender turned her back toward the woman and expressed gratitude exclusively to the husband, saying, “[Thank] you so much for doing that! It was so nice!” This incident left the woman feeling noticeably annoyed.

“I paid the tab, and I tipped you,” the woman stated, her face barely ten inches from the back of the bartender’s head. Thank you very much. Her “you’re welcome” was sarcastic in a way that was clear and deliberate. The woman was positive that the bartender heard her, but she just turned and left, without looking back. After this conversation, the pair quickly exited the establishment.

The woman’s husband said that her remark was inappropriate throughout the way home. He was a regular customer of the institution, and her behavior had made him feel awkward. The spouse, who is typically excellent, didn’t seem to notice the bartender’s harshness. He thought their dinners were nice and they never had empty glasses.

He thought the disparity in treatment might be explained by the bartender’s perception that he paid. In a technical sense, he was right, but the woman insisted on treating everyone fairly, not just the tipper or payer, because she had worked in a setting similar to this.

“AITA for telling the bartender that I paid and tipped after she only thanked my husband?” the woman said, wondering if she was in the wrong.

On her Reddit account, the woman received a lot of support, with most members calling her “NTA.” Many commenters agreed that the bartender had treated the original poster rudely and questioned whether the tip was appropriate. Some went so far as to speculate that the bartender might have been making out with OP’s husband.

What do you think about this story? Do you think the woman was acting overly serious, or did the bartender act in a dubious manner toward her? If you had been treated the same way, would you have given the bartender a tip that was at least 50% of your bill?

Comment
by from discussion
inAmItheAsshole

Now Trending:

Please SHARE this story with your Friends and Family and let us know what you think in comments!

Share on Facebook

Save