When you’re discussing with your friends on the topic of ‘making love’, do you feel like you’re missing out on something? Does it feel like everyone else is out there looking for something that you’re just not really interested in? No matter what anyone says, you can’t seem to understand what makes everyone else so excited.
For you, physical intimacy can’t happen until you get to know that person well, emotionally. The thought of sleeping with any random person doesn’t turn you on. If you’re experiencing these feelings, there’s nothing wrong with that. This just means that you’re demisexual.
A demisexual is a person who only becomes sexually attracted to another person depending on who they are and not what they look like. If you are feeling conflicted about your sexuality, keep reading to find out what you should look for to know if you’re demisexual or not.
1. Touching Doesn’t Arouse You
Generally, when you feel the touch of the person you’re attracted to, it affects your entire body. Demisexuals however don’t really feel much when this happens. They don’t usually like being touched and it only repulses them more if they’re touched by a person they don’t feel a connection with.
2. You Knew There Was Something Different About You
People talk about sex a lot but this discussion has never been your cup of tea. As you grew older, you thought that you weren’t quite right sexually because you didn’t care for the things that other people find arousing.
3. You Know Exactly What You Like About Making Love
There’s little to no chance of you jumping into bed with someone only to do IT. You expect a lot more than that and you won’t hook up with someone who doesn’t meet your expectations. Sleeping with someone is fine but more than the act itself, you feel aroused only when you’re with a person you have managed to bond with.
4. Random Strangers Don’t Turn You On
A person’s physical attraction never makes you feel drawn to them. You could be confronted with someone really hot and you still wouldn’t feel attraction toward them. It is only when you get to know a person and what they’re like that you feel something for them. Mostly you just don’t get what’s going on when your friends gush about all the hot people they see.
5. Others Think You are Prudish
Demisexuality is a fairly new concept so not many know what it actually means. Without this information, they tend to think that you are being prudish and frigid. Or they assume that the idea of sex scares you for some reason. Your preferences are just different and there’s nothing wrong with that.
6. Relationships Aren’t All About Sex
While you do like the physical intimacy in a relationship, you could also take it or leave it. What really matters to you is that you share a strong emotional bond with your partner. As long as the two of you are mentally compatible, everything else can take a backseat.
7. Hooking Up Is Not Your Thing
The idea that random strangers can just casually have sex with each other, without it having to mean anything, just boggles your mind. You don’t understand how anyone can have sex with a person they’ve just met and happily go about their lives, even if they never see that person again. You would never be able to do that.
8. Porn Does Nothing For You
When you watch porn, all you can think about is that those two people probably don’t know each other and that it is all fake. You need to be able to connect emotionally with whomever you’re watching so porn just doesn’t help you at all.
9. Masturbation Helps Till You Find Someone
Hooking up with a person you don’t really know won’t do anything for you so, if you feel the urge, you just help yourself out. You’re not the kind of person who could just message someone you’re not in a committed relationship with to come over for sex. It won’t leave you feeling satisfied.
10. The Emotional Bond Is What Matters Most
The mental bond with your partner really matters to you and you’re always trying to make it stronger. It is much more important to you than sex.
11. Friendship Often Turns Into Romance For You
Since you need that emotional connection, you often end up with people who were your friends first. A date with a stranger doesn’t excite you so you pick from the people you’re already close to.