Relationships are complicated things. They are like edifices that require hard work, planning, wishful thinking, but most importantly, lots and lots of work, patience and unending love. Once you give up, you are gone and you stay gone.
Of course it is always easier to give up but we won’t get into that right now. Society has brought up men and women differently. Men have been brought up as hunter-gatherers, warrior-nomads who cannot stay at one place for too long. Relationships become problematic for them with such toxic inculcation.
They are continually taught to not give in to emotions and to play the field for as long as they can. As a result, it is always more difficult for men to admit their emotions first.
They have been trained to hide their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and relationships demand some form of surrender. So let’s look at some subtle signs that indicate that they are defying their toxic instincts and hinting at love.
1. Seeking help from you
Big thing, this one. This is as direct a form of surrender it can be. If he listens to your advice, values your opinion and actually asks you to help him quite frequently when he gets stuck, it’s a clear sign. This is a big no-no for men in general; they only indulge when they trust the person with all their heart and soul. Seeking help, asking for your opinion and seeking advice from you means that he truly trusts you and loves you.
2. He listens
Men, as we all know, are distracted creatures. They rarely listen or pay attention. Pretty much a one-trick pony they are. But, if he takes the time to listen to what you are saying, and actually answers/advises/comments/analyses the situation, he has really given himself away to you. He has fought years of societal training to be there for you. A man who really listens when you talk means he cares and loves you.
3. Takes decisions that include you
Men, who have been trained to look out for the next big fling of their lives, rarely prioritize their dates. For them, dates are like migratory birds, always changing colors. But, if your boyfriend/date chooses to include you in the decision making processes of his life and gives you the pedestal of importance and priority, he has given himself away. If his future decisions and plans include you in them, and he makes them with you, means he is very much in love with you.
4. Makes you a better person
That is the ideal every relationship wants to reach: being a better person because of the relationship and their partner. If you find yourself improving at whatever you do, as well as finding yourself becoming more focused, efficient and calm thanks to their help and assisting advice, you have a keeper. And the keeper is yours for the keeping.
5. They want to be seen with you in public
You will find them bonding with your friends and you will find yourself meeting their families and friends. They will proudly walk with your hand in theirs in public and their galleries will be filled with pictures of you two having a good time.
6. He divides finances and responsibilities with you
There are no secret bank accounts and everything he does is absolutely transparent. He helps you around the household to the best of his abilities. He pays for you now and then, even though he doesn’t really have to. He does it because he loves you, wants to see you happy and wants to take care of you.
7. He sees your achievements with pride
Because he loves you, don’t you see it? You two are a team and whichever one of you wins, it doesn’t matter: it’s both of you whose victory it is.
8. He texts/calls you when you least expect it
There is a strange telepathy working between you two. Whenever you need him, he’s going to magically call/text you. It happens. You two have a great connection.
9. The sex is beyond amazing
And unlike your flings, you feel things when you look into each other’s eyes. Confront him. Tell him you know he loves you and make him confess. You owe it to yourself and him.