TRelationships are not fairy tales. As kids, we develop unrealistic standards for relationships, and often, we become disillusioned by it all. We want a soulmate, but it just turns out to be a lie.
The problem with relationship myths is that they are terrible for a relationship and it’s best to discard them. These are some of the relationship myths that can jeopardize your relationship:
Myth 1 – Love can sustain a relationship
Reality: Life is not a sit-com. It’s true that we come together because of attraction and passion. But we go through several stages of romance. For a relationship to last, there should be active work done on both sides. The initial infatuation fades away with time and what remains is love. The thrill won’t last. You need to start working for a relationship to sustain.
Myth 2 – Jealousy means love is present
Reality: This is a terrible myth. Yes, jealousy might be an indicator of love, but it’s so much more. It is someone’s insecurities speaking up. A jealous person doesn’t trust their partner enough. It’s an unhealthy emotion too. A jealous person will become controlling and passive-aggressive. It’s just the thing that can destroy a relationship. If understanding is sprinkled with jealous vibes, you can be sure the relationship is not going to go well.
Myth 3 – Fighting between couples means the end of the relationship
Reality: Nothing can be further from the truth. Fights are inevitable. Two unique people are coming together in a relationship. There has to be differences of opinions and tastes and, of course, there will be conflicts. Fights happen among the happiest of couples all the time. It makes you look at a different side of your partner. Arguments mean an exchange of ideas and opening of new doors. So, accept the fights and try to grow with it.
Myth 4 – A child or marriage will resolve all issues
Reality: The opposite is true. Marrying someone is a huge step. Having kids is just too much responsibility. Concealing your problems with distractions will not help you in any way. Once you get more entangled and share major life events, the problems will just intensify. It’ll cause more harm than good. With high stress levels, now both of you can’t even think straight because you have added more problems without solving any of the previous ones.
Myth 5 – Happy couples resolve all disagreements
Reality: All couples have problems and disagreements. Couples are made of unique people and they will have their differences. It’s completely natural. It’ll be foolish to think that a relationship will settle everything. Our values and opinions are a part of our identity, why would we give it up? Good couples don’t come to a settlement – they manage their differences better. They respect each other’s opinions. That’s the sign of a mature couple.
Myth 6 – There can be right ways and wrong ways to fix relationship issues
Reality: Just like people are unique, each relationship is unique. There is no fixed ‘guide or manual’ to fix a relationship. Every couple has their unique set of problems. Advice from self-help books may help you, but in the end, you have to figure out the best way to fix relationship issues. There’s no right or wrong way – there’s just you and your partner’s way.
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Myth 7 – Couples know what each other wants
Reality: This is fantasy and a harmful one at that. Both partners are human and none are mind readers. If we want something, the best way to do it is by expressing it clearly. After all, communication is the key to every relationship. You might know some of each other’s favorites but people change without a hint. Make sure that you listen to your partner and your partner does the same too. That’s the best way.
Myth 8: If there is ‘X’ times of sex each day, you have a great relationship
Reality: The number of times you have sex cannot help a relationship. Every couple does not have the same sex drive, and neither can you drown your problems with sex. It’s true that you need a good sex life coupled with your relationship and that it helps. But that’s not enough. Sexual intimacy is not the only thing that makes a couple happy. Emotional well-being is a priority too.
Myth 9: Partners want to change for each other to make a perfect couple
Reality: Perfections do not exist. Many partners try to alter their significant other’s particular qualities. We are flawed and we should celebrate it. Trying to change partners because we don’t like something is manipulative and wrong. Unless there is an issue regarding unfaithfulness or physical abuse, you should accept them for who they are.
Sometimes our fantasies override our reality. Your partner is real – do not make a fantasy out of them. It’ll only make your relationship issues worse.
Relationships do not go smoothly. It’s a bumpy road and that is hard work but, if you are together and working for it, you’ll reach the end, don’t worry. Just make sure you are there for each other.
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